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#234409 - 06/29/08 04:02 AM How to be human
pointsoflight Offline


Registered: 06/29/08
Posts: 1
Sometimes I think the abuse and the environment I was raised in have prevented me from knowing how to behave like a normal human being. It's as if there's this whole world of groovy knowledgeable people out having a good time and I can only blend in with them as long as I stay quiet and keep to the edges. Getting too close to anyone, or doing anything that draws attention to myself, always ends with me feeling "outed." Exposed for being some freak android and not a human being like all the groovy people. I feel like it's necessary to tack a sign to my forehead: "WARNING! This guy has no clue how to act like a human being!" Just so people know what they're getting into.

I know my relational skills are stunted and deformed and I want to constantly apologize for it. I'm not sure I'm capable of the kind of confidence required to play well with others. This has caused a lot of isolation, and I honestly don't know if it's self-imposed or if people avoid me because I'm such an android. I do know that most people I know seem to have loved ones they can confide in but I have never trusted someone enough to share my multitude of insecurities and woes.

Which is why I registered tonight after lurking for a couple years. Hello. Any of you guys have thoughts/suggestions/advice/whatever?


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#234410 - 06/29/08 04:56 AM Re: How to be human [Re: pointsoflight]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Hey POL, welcome my friend. Yes, we are most certainly a different breed. But as I've been saying for the last little while "my issues are just fine". You are not different than any other human being who was subject to our upbringing. You are a normal human being for being the way we are in regards to our past. That groovy person you see who seems to have it all together, would be the exact same way you are if his past was you're past. The problem is he has nothing to relate too with you. I made a comment to a friend the other day who said "I need to be around people without a history so I can learn what it's like to be normal" The conversation was about PTSD and he was thinking he could learn not to jump at a loud noise by someone who doesn't jump at loud noises. I said "well, you will probably need something he can relate to for him to give you that perspective" I gave an example of the "normal" not liking vodka because at 15 he drank too much and got sick on vodka. But as I said it I realised that there was no possible way for my friend to get him to like vodka just because he didn't have that experience at 15. We are our experiences. The good news "I guess" my friend is that you are normal and that there are many of us who do relate.

The bad news, we have to try and integrate with the masses.

Knowing that we are understood and "normal" is a great first step.

I'm sure you'll play very well with us POL

Stay strong, welcome my friend
Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#234411 - 06/29/08 05:23 AM Re: How to be human [Re: mogigo]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Oh, and just wanted to say, tack a sign on that says "I act exactly like any human being would"

Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#234413 - 06/29/08 07:15 AM Re: How to be human [Re: pointsoflight]
jcf1957 Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
Hey Pointsoflight;

Welcome to MaleSurvivor; just want to add to what Mike just said
you are indeed human. Many of feelings your experiencing are the same as a vast number of us here at M.S. Your not some oddball, your among friends who can definitely identify with what your going through. I'm glad you found this safe place. Trust comes with time friend. Take time to read through post's or write your own. The Moderators are here to help also. Pace yourself. Generally most guys here are easy to talk to and are willingly supportive. Take care. Chris




Edited by jcf1957 (06/29/08 07:16 AM)
_________________________
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.
Anonymous

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#234454 - 06/29/08 01:35 PM Re: How to be human [Re: mogigo]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
mike there is some good wisdom there brother, thanks for taking the time to respond.

i thought about pol's application of the term 'groovy' to describe the people who possibly have not had any debilitating interruptions in their developmental continuum. they seem to have a kind of currency that i myself am lacking. they seem to be connected to the natural flow of things. that's something i don't get.

Quote:
That groovy person you see who seems to have it all together, would be the exact same way you are if his past was your past


i love that...thanks

ron
......please pray for me

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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