Thanks for all of the information Trish & TestingWaters. I agree that he is projecting and have learned to be much more confident about myself. I definitely know that I have a lot of value, whether he can see it or not. I would never have guessed that the was feeling worthless, but perhaps he doesn't know it himself.
Either way, I am having a really hard time holding on. I found out about the CSA last month. While I can certainly appreciate why he didn't tell me earlier, over the last 3 days, I have learned about 2 other significant things that he has failed to share. Each thing on its own is fine because everyone has skeletons in their closets. But, 3 major ones all at once are a little hard for me to swallow. I feel as though I am not even sure who I married anymore. It is very apparent that he doesn't understand that our relationship (ie. being married) is very different than a dating relations, and clearly he has problems with trust and vulnerability. I know this is all typical of CSA survivors, but I don't know how long I can do this.
I think I am going to have to give him a choice - either get help, or get out. I want a husband not a roommate!! I can handle the negative comments but I have a really hard time feeling as though I don't even know my husband anymore.
A really, really bad week!!!
"Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.”