Steve

you will be missed. I always enjoyed when you were in the chatroom.

Ken

I don't go to chat because I had a bad experience the one and only time I went there! I now believe it was just my misinterpretation of what was being said, that caused me a problem ( I was new here & in quite a distressed state at the time).

I've always stuck to the discussion board though, and have always found it OK because we can either comment on a topic, or leave it.

Chat is 'there and then', so it is easier for someone to cause confusion, even if it is not really meant!

You don't have to leave, just read what's written & comment if you like. You don't have to chat!

Best wishes whatever you finally decide...Rik

Steve,

I'd like to encourage you to stay with us it you think you can, or come back after a break from here. I'm going to be frank with you here. I've left situations a few times when things got tense with interpersonal relations. Looking back on it I now can see that my running was simply my refusal to face issues I needed to face in regards to those issues I had. I needed to be able to at least make honest attempts to see the point of contention through to a satisfactory ending instead of cutting and running. Just a thought from an old geezer.

Lot's of love,

John

Thank you all for your kind and supportive words today. I do not think at this point it is wise for me to "try again".......I really do feel that the chat room issues I have encounterted are not a typical steve-knee-jerk-reaction which would be to cut and run ......I've been there and certainly have spent many hours through the years with my therapists exploring just that dynamic.....right now I am quite angry with some who have acted in a manner I do not find beneficial for my needs.......i know this sounds self centered ans selfish....but my needs come first.....kind of a new concept for me.....and I right now plan to follow this course of action......I really do have issues with those here and outside of MS and specifically the chat room who act and speak as if they are "correct" and use me as a direct point of what they deem incorrect behavior......this as I have pointed out before does not fly in my world any more.....and rather than confront them in the chat room.....i choose to leave here.....simply because confrontation can lead to anger which in turn can lead to words which could and I believe would scare others present...and as I have said before is the last thing I would want to do.....safety and trust first.....yes MS ........the friends I have made and support I have gotten from them is extremely appreciated and helpful to me in exploring many unresolved issues rumbling around in my head.....but healing is a two way street......my great concern now is that healing could become secondary.....and confrontation could take over......no one needs that......especially here where confrontation is something which is not, to me, helpful to anyone here......i do however think heathy and respectful confrontation is an important part of someone who feels worthy of being heard and wishes to express a disagreement....i have worked very hard to learn how to recognize my triggers and how to deal with them, for the most part, correctly......civilized confrontation is an important part of my mental health.....it means I matter.....my opinion matters....... and I have the freedom to "express"......even if I am wrong....

So to end a long winded second good-bye.....rather than confront some here and try to deal with what i feel are may peoples agendas or need to control here by laying down their set of laws and judgements....not MS's......and then to use me as the example of their opinion of incorrect behavior......i must leave....the last thing I need in my world is someone who plays the role of judge........thank you again for your responses and wonderful support along the way......steve

Goodbye, Steve. Every wish for your future health and happiness. I hope things are peaceful for you.

Steve,

Take this for what it's worth, i.e., my advice and 50 cents will buy you a cup of coffee.

Personally I have not seen you being victimised or judged in the chatroom. In fact, judging by the number of regular chatters who have replied to your original post by saying they would be sad to see you go, I think you have quite a few friends in chat.

I have been going to chat regularly for a while, and I've seen some tensions flare up between chatters from time to time, but I think that that is pretty typical of the chatroom in general. This is especially true when the conversation gets very intense. However, I don't think I have seen chatters ever single out a chatter to make an example of them or to treat them unfairly in any way. In fact, I have seen the opposite to be true; the chatters generally help each other out.

That said, there are times when I simply can't stand the chatroom. Either the conversation has gone in a direction I don't like, or I've got personal stuff going on, but whatever it is, it interferes with my ability to have a discussion. In these cases, I bail out of there, or, if there are few chatters, I will ask if anyone minds changing the subject.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that the picture you have painted of the chatroom is a bit unfair. The chat has its own dynamic, and for some of us it is a huge resource. If you are having trouble in chat, then I suggest you return to the chatroom and have a frank discussion with the other chatters (preferably with one of the moderators present) about your issues. But keep in mind that the chat is like any other group of people; there will be people there who agree with you, and there will be people who disagree with you. I would suggest that instead of describing the people who disagree with you as being judgemental or as having their own agendas, you should maybe try to talk to them and see why they are disagreeing with you in the first place.

I think John makes a great point. If you find you are running from personal confrontation, it might be worthwhile to explore the reasons why you are running. I used to avoid confrontations with other people like the plague, so I've been there.

At any rate, that's my input for what it's worth. If you do choose to leave I can say as a fellow Survivor that I will be sad to see you go and I wish you well.

Nobby

Steve,

The decision is yours of course, and I won't argue against it. I'll just repeat my hope that if you change your mind you will feel free to return.

Much love,
Larry

steven,maybe you should weigh the good you have found here against the potential bad that may or may not be here.it seems you are giving up a very good resource for your healing ,i must agree with nobby about the chatroom .it is so different from posting ,i personaly had one very triggering experience in chat ,it got ugly and it got personal ,but i never once considered leaving ,if you do leave .leaving the site seems like giving in ,and that is something we dont do eaisly. the choice is yours steven ,but like in real life what about the ones you leave behind who do care about you. please do what you feel is best ,but never feel that all of ms will judge you ,it's not fair to your friends here ,who are the most non judgemental people i now,again i will miss you my friend ,. adam

Good point...edited.

Hi Steve, say no to the chat, but try to stay on the board. That was what I had to do when I first got here. Maybe one day I will go back to chat, but not yet. I am sorry to say that I have not read any of your posts yet, I will try to correct that over the next few days. Right now the only thing I can say is try not to burn your bridges, leave for now, stay gone for as long as is needed, then come back. You will be welcome when ever you chose to come back.

Take care for now.
Clifford