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#233516 - 06/25/08 04:00 PM Has the abuse affected your career choice?
fhorns Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 680
In 1998, I was ending up my 3rd year of my BA in Elementary Education, and I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the arena. I could do the work in my head, but continually exposing myself more (after living in a mental closet most of my life) made me plunder as a student the second half of the year. I was nervous and scared more, with no awareness of why. I thought my friends thought I was just "out there". I continually kept "friends" at shoulder length. I wouldn't anyone get inside me, and teaching, as a social and involved career, had me depressed and withdrawn. With tanking grades, I switched my major to Psychology for the next semester. I knew it was a safer road than working with kids in a caring, nurturing manner. I was not brought up with this at all.

My switch into Psychology scared me at first, but it became easier and easier to identify with those suffering. However, I also knew my issues would need to be addressed significantly were I ever to pursue the field. I knew a BA in Psychology would get me very few places.

Upon graduation, I was not inclined to head any clear direction. My two areas of training were 1) undesirable, or 2) unprepared for. I returned home and became a substitute teacher. I have been successful at it, but I never have to be committed to any relationships or daily job duties. But I have never felt secure with it due to summers, no benefits, and inconsistent job availibility. I have worked for temp agencies numerous times.

It's strange, because I'd work at home if possible. I've considered doing medical tran>

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#233635 - 06/26/08 01:05 AM Re: Has the abuse affected your career choice? [Re: fhorns]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
fhorn,

This is an important and good question, and one which I have wondered about many times myself.

It is difficult to decipher. We are in our lives like a tapestry which is being woven. The abuse we experienced as a child becomes woven with time into who we are. This has been a scary thought to me. We on this MS board have probably all wondered if our abuse has soured our possibilities in life.

We know up front as you indicated that it has introduced some new limitations. We many not be so good now in speaking before groups. We may be somewhat less confident as we launch on a career choice. We may have to chose an area where some depression will be tolerated or even enjoyed. We will feel like we need an area which is devoid as possible of those things that trigger us.

But we also sense that we have certain abilities and talents which we must express. If possible we want to express these talents in a career choice or at least in our job. Sometimes we must be content with flying in a temporary holding pattern until we can effect some healing from our affliction.

On the other hand, our abuse as children has given us some new abilities, at least if we have made our way somewhat along the pathway of healing. We may become more sensitive and caring about others. Having learned to hurt we become more concerned about how others hurt. We hopefully have learned the ability to forgive and to practice that as a way of life. We may have learned that it is not so important what we do as what we are. Having suffered from the selfishness of others we hopefully become more giving, more loving and more responsive.

This is of necessity very general at this point. It has suggested to me an assignment of trying to discern some of the choices I have made in the past and some of the things I have been compelled to do but which I did not want to do. Thus I hope to soon provide a further installment in this discussion.

Puffer


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#233853 - 06/26/08 04:53 PM Re: Has the abuse affected your career choice? [Re: pufferfish]
LN3(SS) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/08
Posts: 486
Loc: MD
As my screen name says I was once a Navy legalman. Basically a highly trained paralegal. After I got out, I thought I would try to get some civilian education in the legal field. Once I started, I realized that I kept thinking about what kind of career I would have had if this hadn't happened to me. It dragged me down and I finally gave up in disgust and fear. I guess you need to make sure that this is what you really want and that you are prepared to accept BOTH success (hopefully) and failure if it is meant to be.

_________________________
"When we go into battle, I will be the first to set foot on the field, and I will be the last to step off, and I will leave no one behind. Dead, or alive, we will all come home together." LTG Hal Moore, Jr., USA (Ret.)

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