This is an important and good question, and one which I have wondered about many times myself.
It is difficult to decipher. We are in our lives like a tapestry which is being woven. The abuse we experienced as a child becomes woven with time into who we are. This has been a scary thought to me. We on this MS board have probably all wondered if our abuse has soured our possibilities in life.
We know up front as you indicated that it has introduced some new limitations. We many not be so good now in speaking before groups. We may be somewhat less confident as we launch on a career choice. We may have to chose an area where some depression will be tolerated or even enjoyed. We will feel like we need an area which is devoid as possible of those things that trigger us.
But we also sense that we have certain abilities and talents which we must express. If possible we want to express these talents in a career choice or at least in our job. Sometimes we must be content with flying in a temporary holding pattern until we can effect some healing from our affliction.
On the other hand, our abuse as children has given us some new abilities, at least if we have made our way somewhat along the pathway of healing. We may become more sensitive and caring about others. Having learned to hurt we become more concerned about how others hurt. We hopefully have learned the ability to forgive and to practice that as a way of life. We may have learned that it is not so important what we do as what we are. Having suffered from the selfishness of others we hopefully become more giving, more loving and more responsive.
This is of necessity very general at this point. It has suggested to me an assignment of trying to discern some of the choices I have made in the past and some of the things I have been compelled to do but which I did not want to do. Thus I hope to soon provide a further installment in this discussion.