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#23343 - 10/16/03 04:14 PM Hello
Kieran1 Offline

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 33
Loc: Canada
Just a quick note to say that I have missed posting on MS for awhile,but I have certainly not forgotten all the support and advice given by everyone on my path to being a survivor. I have come to acknowledge that it happened,that I was not to blame,and I have to work on the issues in my life. Like all of you out there this has not been easy,probably the most difficult thing to overcome. A long,long journey so to speak.I try to look at the good things in my life now,taking each day as a gift.Yes, I feel the loss of innocence and the many years it took me to disclose my abuse.On another note, I was so moved by Richard Hoffman's article in Men Speak Out.It really hit home.Little League baseball was one of my favorite sports as a boy. Really competitive at the time.I recall that our league had a A team and a B team.I felt that I good enough to make the A team,and had so much expectation that I would make it I told my parents I had it all sewn up.When the team lists came out I was shocked to find I was on the B team,which was in those days a team of losers. No,I said to myself you really aren't good enough and belong where you are.But,in turn my self-esteem hit an all time low.Unable to even talk about it,I kept it bottled up tormenting myself.I was about 10 then. Self-esteem seems to me a big issue in this area of my life.I beat my self up in my childhood over it,and try every day to keep my sense of self,a good one.I guess I could ramble on for awhile but it's good to be back in contact and talk about some of the issues that affected me,and know that the one I spoke about was part of me when the abuse took place.

Bless you all,Kieran

#23344 - 10/16/03 06:34 PM Re: Hello
crisispoint Offline

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts

I'm fairly new here (and early in my recovery), but it does my heart good to see someone doing well and being positive.

Keep it up, and keep in touch more often!

Peace and love,

Scot \:D

There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

#23345 - 10/16/03 11:56 PM Re: Hello
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Hello Kieran,

It is nice to meet you. I didn't find this wonderful group of guys until after your last post. Of which I hope everthing healed and you no longer have any pain from your mountain biking accident. I understand the physical pain and pain medication interfering with ones physiology and mental state and the ability to deal with the healing process.

It is wonderful to be able to see some of the beauty in the world. To appreciate the setting sun. To bask in the warmth of the rising sun. To smell the roses. These are becoming easier to notice and be grateful for. I have actually had someone ask me why I am always so happy. Because there is some good in the world and it makes me happy that I can see it.

Welcome back,

Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

#23346 - 10/17/03 01:46 AM Re: Hello
bowman Offline

Registered: 04/19/03
Posts: 72

Nice to meet you. I haven't been here for a while either. It sounds like you are really committed to doing what you need to do to heal. Good for you.
Take care,

#23347 - 10/19/03 05:58 AM Re: Hello
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Welcome back Kieran, for no matter how short the time. I am glad that you have been doing well, and I hope you continue to do so.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

#23348 - 10/19/03 07:11 PM Re: Hello
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi Kieran,

Well friend, maybe the B team was a safer place to be. It seems that kids on the A team too often are the targets of abuse of all kinds. I think that the DSM IV should have a classification called :Coach irrationality disorder. Well, at least you know that you are a member of the A team here.
I think it would be quite a sight if we ever had the chance to get together and someone wanted to have a baseball game. If I couldn't be the cathcer I wouldn't play. But I would definitely need a couple of guys by my side to help me up from my squats!

Take care--keep doing the right stuff.


If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

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