I have learned to hate
But only off and on
I have been trying to hate for months
Who did this to me
For in the hate, I knew lay healing
For, how can you forgive where there is no blame?
And so, now I hate
With fire it seems
So hot am I around the eyes, when I think of him
She has become a part of this
I think because she beat me
A new memory from where I thought no more were stored
And now I hate them both
But hate, even with fire, is numb
I want no revenge
No pain inflicted to make up for pain received
But just become enraged somehow at them
They took a little boy from joy
To the pain of nothingness
To being less than nothing
How could they?
How could they beat him down
And yet give love at the same time
"I must be bad, have done something bad, have no worth."
So, now I hate, in moments when I can
I so would give up my state of numb
My state of resignation, of "They did it, so now what?"
I want to forget
But am told I must first forgive
But first, must acknowledge the crime done
And then, will cut it off, that life
Put it away
Seal it up in the tomb in which I lived for a thousand years
All of us so sad
The three of us so sad
How do you destroy someone you love?
For you did love me
Destroy me for my own good
For your own good
You broke me
I want me back
All of me back
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.