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#233359 - 06/25/08 12:39 AM therapist thinks i need to go deeper
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 860
Loc: washington
so i talked to my therapist of 28yrs exp. she feels i need to go deeper. because of the fact i live on an island, part of my therapy/recovery involves reading as many books on recovery as possible. she feels i need to get in touch w\my inner child. i feel i need to read stuff on a deeper level. i have read: courage to heal, victims no longer,speaking our truth,healing your sexual self,after the tears,boundaries,and beyond betrayal.
problem is:
#1 There are almost to many high rated books in the bookstore.
#2 I am seeking knowledge that is deeper for me, closer to therapist level
#3 cash flow will be a problem if i don't chose wisely.

thank you in advance for your WISDOM!!! p.s. welcoming moderator advice

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#233405 - 06/25/08 04:30 AM Re: therapist thinks i need to go deeper [Re: 1islandboy]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
How many of Mic Hunter's books have you looked at? I found his book ABUSED BOYS helpful 18 years ago when it first came out. There were a number of copies of it for sale on Amazon.com yesterday when I looked. Mic Hunter has many, many years of experience treating male CSA and male rape victims. His most recent effort is about military SA and rape, and was published last year. He is in private practice in St. Paul, MN.

Have you looked at John Bradshaw's books? His book HOMECOMING is an inner-child recovery book. I also found his book THE FAMILY helpful in my own struggle with a violent and dysfunctional family upbringing. Both are available on Amazon too.

SELF ESTEEM, by Matthew McKay, PH.D, and Patrick Fanning, is almost as old now as is ABUSED BOYS. It is a 270 pg. look into that difficult topic.

I first started into recovery in 1986, and felt that I had substantially accomplished my goals by the Spring of 2000.

Good luck in your search for freedom from this terrible affliction.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#233511 - 06/25/08 03:17 PM Re: therapist thinks i need to go deeper [Re: Trucker51]
LW1527 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
I think books are great up to a point. I worry about when a therapist starts digging and wanting to go deeper. It can lead to false memories and what my therapist calls RAMBO THERAPY. I think therapy cannot be rushed and should be allowed to open freely and without prying too much. WHen the brain is ready, it will release the memories and the trauma. If you want good books, Amazon is the place to look and they have great reviews. I would question the motive in reading a lot of books and a lot of other victim's stories. It can be very triggering.


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#233517 - 06/25/08 04:01 PM Re: therapist thinks i need to go deeper [Re: LW1527]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 860
Loc: washington
dear lw1527,

i've encountered bad therapists, one actually told me,"i miss seeing you in my office,your insurance plan is really good. and i'm thinking you fucker,its all about the money for you.the fact of the matter was he did very little to help me. it's hard for me to explain here the confidence i have in my therapist.i here you, when you say that books are good up to a point. but before she said that,i have already felt i need to go deeper,perhaps on a psychoanalitic level? i'm not really interested in reading other peoples stories...my burning question,is who am i,what makes me tick,perhaps on a subconcious level. if something is broken, i want to find out what it is, give it the attention it deserves, so i can live a better and healther life. thank you for your concern and thank you for replying to my post.

the best revenge is living a good life.

1islandboy

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#233521 - 06/25/08 04:21 PM Re: therapist thinks i need to go deeper [Re: 1islandboy]
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Guys I wanted to remind you that you can order the books though the Male Survivor book store and help the web site out.

islandboy just wanted to tell you about the Healing Circles. The HC is peer support group over the internet here at male survivor. You can go to the link below for more information about the new one we are starting.

Tom


Healing Circle


_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#233532 - 06/25/08 04:59 PM Re: therapist thinks i need to go deeper [Re: 1islandboy]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 860
Loc: washington
dear trucker51,

Thank you for the book titles, I failed to mention,probably because i am only half way through i am actively reading ABUSED BOYS. we have a used bookstore on this island and bradshaw is a name i've seen often. thank you for pointing out which book, would be right for me on the several he has written. i probably need some work on self-esteem, as when life go to well for me, i'm always looking over my shoulder, for the ax to fall. i failed to mention to lw1527, that even though i feel isolated on this island about this issue,i am surrounded by a loving support group in the fellowship of A.A.if i was really spun out i could get support before i help before i finish this message. one nice thing about living on an island,is that everthing and everyone is close. i might and that anonimity is somewhat scetchy for those that drive vehicles. everyone knows what i drive, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out i'm in the program.



Edited by 1islandboy (06/25/08 05:06 PM)
_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#233535 - 06/25/08 05:05 PM Re: therapist thinks i need to go deeper [Re: 1islandboy]
LW1527 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/08
Posts: 408
Loc: Salt Lake City Ut
The best help then that I have had is to journal daily and to draw. My therapist is the head of the trauma clinic here. Journaling and drawing have been great. It opens the mind and gets you deeper. Just when I don't think there was anything to write about, I'd start writing thinking I would go a certain direction and then start writing about something completely different. It really goes deep. I'm a lousey artist, but I keep my pencils and colored pens handy and do it. It works very well and opens up the memories too. I hope that helps. I'm glad you got a good therapist. A good one is hard to find!


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#233545 - 06/25/08 06:21 PM Re: therapist thinks i need to go deeper [Re: LW1527]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 860
Loc: washington
dear lw1527,
thank you for the advise,i need to start journaling, sometimes i feel like i don't know what i should write about maybe i should just grab some paper and see what comes out. my therapist has already advised me to start one,somehow i feel as if i'm full of fear and courage at the same time. while reading beyond betral,which was my last book, it finally occured to me (maybe it was how it was explained) and for clarity sake let me say it was crystal clear is that I DISSOCIATE ALL THE TIME ,now that i know this...what do i do about this?

looking for a lighthouse,somewhere in the fog.

1islandboy

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#233546 - 06/25/08 06:25 PM Re: therapist thinks i need to go deeper [Re: LW1527]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 860
Loc: washington
dear lw1527,
thank you for the advise,i need to start journaling, sometimes i feel like i don't know what i should write about. maybe, i should just grab some paper and see what comes out. my therapist has already advised me to start one,somehow i feel as if i'm full of fear and courage at the same time. while reading beyond betrayal,which was my last book, it finally occured to me (maybe it was how it was explained) and for clarity sake let me say, it was CRYSTAL CLEAR, that, I DISSOCIATE ALL THE TIME ,now that i know this...what do i do about this?

looking for a lighthouse,somewhere in the fog.

1islandboy

_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#233548 - 06/25/08 06:40 PM Re: therapist thinks i need to go deeper [Re: LW1527]
jcf1957 Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
I'm not trying to shoot anyone down here is this thread by being negative in any perceivable way. I've read numerous books, many were helpful as far as knowledge is concerned. But somehow I feel that many of these books were only capable of leading you to searching your inner self and sorting through your emotions up to a point. As this gentlemen who started this post mentioned that he was lacking something deep within himself which is not always easy to articulate. The biggest journey to recovery has little to do with books although they are a starting point. Whether we are willing to admit this to ourselves or not. The biggest step is ("Total") acceptance of coming to terms with what happened to each of us as unique individuals. I am certainly no scholar in this journey to recovery. We are what we eat...Do we own the rape affliction ? Or does the rape affliction own us ?
Bottom line; this is something we all have to ask ourselves.
Myself included. And believe me; I'm not good at it.

_________________________
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.
Anonymous

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