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#232993 - 06/24/08 07:38 AM New awareness video for kids *****triggers*****
roadrunner Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
I just saw this and thought others ought to know about it - I haven't seen this one before. It's good but for some it will be very triggery. Really. It confronts abuse by showing it, though nothing explicit. My first thought is that this sort of thing will encourage boys to disclose. What do you think?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi2pl0gbR_w&feature=related

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#233026 - 06/24/08 10:20 AM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers***** [Re: roadrunner]
Jarrad Offline
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Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
if they showed that in school, everyone would laugh. it's super 80s and melodramatic. it does talk about the issue and probably doesn't hurt anything, but i dont know if it would encourage anyone to disclose


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#233210 - 06/24/08 07:19 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers***** [Re: Jarrad]
roadrunner Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Jarrad,

Well, that's the basic problem I think. I have heard from many survivors that they saw such things in school and just laughed along with the other boys, out of a desperate need to fit in and keep the secret.

Thinking more about it today, I think I would have liked to see another minute added to the video, stressing the following in more explicit terms:

1. If something is happening to you it's not your fault.
2. Even if someone is a relative or a person you know and like, it's not okay for him or her to touch you in certain places.
3. If something happens, tell a safe adult right away.
4. You have the right to say no.

The video makes the mistake of assuming that a kid knows what "sexual abuse" is. That's the whole problem - many don't recognize what is happening as abusive.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#233236 - 06/24/08 08:24 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers***** [Re: roadrunner]
Still Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6400
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I was never-ever shown anything like this, nor was "it" ever discussed when I was a kid. I DO remember seeing a poster in the police station (when they brought me in at age 8) that said to not get into strangers cars, and if you do end up with a stranger, "don't let them 'fuss' with your clothes."

However, I HAVE found a good resource. The Whinney the Pooh video series is REALLY good. They even get into tricks the perp can use to keep you quiet. Its the best I've ever seen.

This link is a segment of the entire set.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkxtA0YpLkk&feature=related

_________________________
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#233349 - 06/25/08 12:07 AM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: roadrunner]
Barkabus Offline
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Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
This video I think crosses the line. It was shocking for me to watch. It's too visual...I mean it shows (all above the waist) the guy playing the perp as if he's masturbating the boy. To me that's WAY too much. It was disturbing.

I am impressed with the 80's era Winnie the Poo PSA. It explains the danger and what to do in case it happens. Instead of focusing on the act and not on what to do in case it happens.

Just my opinion.

Mike

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My Story

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#233358 - 06/25/08 12:38 AM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: Barkabus]
testingWaters Offline
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Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
The pooh video is actually really good for kids who are young enough. The tricks part is really good. But, this is a little embarrassing to admit, it made me feel stupid for having gotten tricked. Though I think it could be very useful if a kid had already seen this so they had some idea WTF was going on if they did get perped.


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#233489 - 06/25/08 02:14 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: testingWaters]
roadrunner Offline
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Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
It's interesting to get your reactions. I too felt creeped out when I saw it, and you're right Mike, the problem is that it's way too explicit in showing the perp, though that does stress the point that someone you know and trust can still be unsafe.

I can now see what was exercising me so much about this thing. I'm wondering if any survivors were consulted when this was made. And even further, is an ethical boundary being crossed when a young child actor is placed in the position of playing the role of the kid. Imagine how creepy that must have been for this boy.

So let me ask you guys about this from another angle. How would you have done this video if you had been the director? Or what would you have liked to see changed or improved?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#233518 - 06/25/08 04:14 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: roadrunner]
rehpotsirhcs Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/07
Posts: 204
That's really creepy.... I did not like that video. Maybe it was because the kid was the one who was telling us what happened? If it had been an adult saying to us, "this is what happened when I was a kid.." and you showed scenes of the perp and the boy together but with no sound (just the adult boy describing what happened) it might be better.... But, maybe the point was to shock the hell out of everyone and make them feel creeped out?

I feel sorry for the kid.


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#233536 - 06/25/08 05:13 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
king tut Offline
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Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
I didn't watch all of the pooh one, but that was pretty good

and you know i don't swear very often Larry, unless i am ranting and then i am the master, but that director must be some kind of fucking pervert! it just wasn't necessary, i mean it is like a kiddy porn film in disguise or something, you dont have to make a kid naked to make the point, that will freak kids out into not telling even more in my opinion, it's just the product of a deviant in disguise in my opinion, i think the things said were ok, and i think it will click with children if a child is speaking, but really, how many times was that boy undressed and touched in that clip!

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#233539 - 06/25/08 05:46 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: king tut]
Nyjah Offline
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Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 610
That was a super scary clip to watch, I didn't watch very much of it before it was just too much.

I agree with what King Tut said, about the director. I have always wondered how directors adn stuff dealed with secneds like that i movies. I know that in invisible skin the kids in the movie were never actually in the scenes where the abuse happened.


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#233540 - 06/25/08 05:50 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: king tut]
Hauser Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Give me a BREAK already about this boy being "harmed" in the making of this video. He's a grown man right now, and do you think he regrets having made this film? I seriously doubt it. In fact, he probably recognizes it as a milestone in the societal progress of the recognition of the sexual abuse of boys, in a time that is was NOT talked about openly. Hell, it STILL isn't. This is something for him to be proud of. Hell, it MIGHT have even convinced dozens or hundreds of kids to actually say something.

About this video:

Had I seen this video, it MIGHT have saved me, it MIGHT well have kept me from turning on myself. I MIGHT have approached my Dad or Aunt or SOMEONE that I trusted, even after being laughed at and mocked by my brother the very first time that I tried to disclose.

What would I have done differently?

It is important to convey that silence about this ugly subject is harmful. I would have, without making the clip too lengthy, SOMEHOW conveyed that NOT talking about, as obvious as that is in seeming easier/safer to do, WILL PROBABLY do more harm to yourself than working up the courage TO TALK about it to SOMEONE that is trusted. It is important to convey that silence about this is harmful. For instance: Show the boy approaching his Mom and/or Dad and STARTING to disclose what Mr. So-and-so was doing to me. That is a rather straight way of showing HOW to do it.

Hell, I don't know.................


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#233555 - 06/25/08 07:16 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: Hauser]
testingWaters Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
I agree with Hauser that no ethics were breached in the film.

I can't make it all the way through that first video. But I think the main problem with it is the kid is so fake. He's so "gee-gosh" "gee-willikers." I would never have identified with him in a million years.


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#233868 - 06/26/08 06:30 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: testingWaters]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
This is all really valuable, guys. Thanks for your comments - they are helping me to focus my own thinking in an area where I really haven't thought about things so much yet.

So suppose someone came to you and said, hey, we're thinking of making something like this for kids, what do you think? Would you suggest changes, or scrap the whole thing and start over? What would you like to see in such a video? What kind of issues do you think would need to be addressed, and how would you try to get the message across?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#233882 - 06/26/08 07:43 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: roadrunner]
testingWaters Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
1. Make clear that people will believe you x1000
2. What to do if a parent is involved.
3. What to do if religion is involved
4. Have an adult who is well-adjusted and comforting speak to the camera about what happened to them, about how they remembered being afraid and alone and ashamed, feeling tricked etc. And about how once they grew up they could understand what had happened. But how when they were a kid it was scary and confusing.


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#233968 - 06/26/08 11:18 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: testingWaters]
theatrekid Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
Originally Posted By: Hauser

Had I seen this video, it MIGHT have saved me, it MIGHT well have kept me from turning on myself. I MIGHT have approached my Dad or Aunt or SOMEONE that I trusted, even after being laughed at and mocked by my brother the very first time that I tried to disclose.


When i was in boy scouts about 12 years old. they showed us this very film. All the kids were laughing making jokes about it. I joined in making jokes but inside i felt terrible. I new this movie was speaking directly to me but I also new that unlike that boy it must have been my fault and i certainly didn't have the choice of talking about it.

I think it takes more than just a video to get a kid to speak out. For me at least it was direct conversation. eye contact from some one i care about saying Chris this stuff is wrong and we don't deserve it. Thats what it takes.



Edited by theatrekid (06/26/08 11:19 PM)

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#234039 - 06/27/08 09:40 AM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: theatrekid]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Christopher,

That's amazing - you saw this very film! Is there any way that something different would have let you think you had some options? I know that's a difficult question.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#234139 - 06/27/08 07:24 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: roadrunner]
irishguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/04
Posts: 231
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
In my opinion I rekon the video is well made for the era it was broadcast in, it did put it out there that it is wrong but i think that no matter how well made the video is if you were to be of a young age watching a clip like that in a room full of your peers who are laughing and mocking it as it runs, it doesnt really give that encouragement to speak out, from a childs POV if everyone laughs at the boy in the video what will they do if you were to say it, its up to everyone, parents, teachers, to really show youngsters that it is a serious thing and that it shouldnt be happening and that there is always someone there to listen and help with out fear.
I dunno maybe im rambleing but thats my view...

Dean.

_________________________
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

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#234379 - 06/28/08 11:06 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: irishguy]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
Larry, I think this video could be an amazing first step in getting some one to speak out. For me i don't think i realized that this sort of thing happened to other people until seeing the movie so it was a good first step, But it would be 6 or 7 more years before i finally disclosed. The clip that you showed was part of a larger video that gave several different scenarios.

I kept the abuse secret from every one from time i was about 6 all the way until i was 17. It wasn't until i had a friend disclose to me about her own abuse that i realized i could talk about what happened to me. Until this point i didnt even realize my problems were connected to the abuse.

so to answer your question, I think educating our kids about abuse and then having a person they can feel safe with that is willing to invest the time and energy in the child to open up to them is really the only way to get kids to come out about their abuse.

Chris


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#234396 - 06/29/08 02:25 AM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: theatrekid]
Stretch73 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 336
Loc: Sea Isle City, NJ
I have been on this site for a couple of days. I haven't posted much. I've just been reading a lot of what other people write. To be honest, I don't know where to begin with my own bullshit.

I watched this video and it really hit me hard. I'm not an emotional guy at all, but this video really struck a chord with me. As a former police officer it upsets me. As a CSA victim, it disgusts me. My blood was boiling throughtout that video.

I just don't get it anymore. What the hell is going wrong with the world? Wars being fought because "My God is better than your God." Kids shot in front of their houses, in front of their parents and siblings, because they just happen to have been born on a different block. Children abused, sold, and minipulated for financial gain and deviant pleasure.

I'm tired of it all. When will it end?

_________________________
"I was so poor growing up, that if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with." Rodney Dangerfield

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#234408 - 06/29/08 03:37 AM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: Stretch73]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
Welcome to MS Stretch as they say sorry ya need us but glad ya found us.

To answer your question, I Think it will all end when we give up on borders, nationalities, and religions when peace dosnt mean no war for a while but no war. it will all end when we start excepting all people as just that people, our brothers and sisters who deserve just as much as I do.

Chris



Edited by theatrekid (06/29/08 03:38 AM)

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