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#233540 - 06/25/08 05:50 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: king tut]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Give me a BREAK already about this boy being "harmed" in the making of this video. He's a grown man right now, and do you think he regrets having made this film? I seriously doubt it. In fact, he probably recognizes it as a milestone in the societal progress of the recognition of the sexual abuse of boys, in a time that is was NOT talked about openly. Hell, it STILL isn't. This is something for him to be proud of. Hell, it MIGHT have even convinced dozens or hundreds of kids to actually say something.

About this video:

Had I seen this video, it MIGHT have saved me, it MIGHT well have kept me from turning on myself. I MIGHT have approached my Dad or Aunt or SOMEONE that I trusted, even after being laughed at and mocked by my brother the very first time that I tried to disclose.

What would I have done differently?

It is important to convey that silence about this ugly subject is harmful. I would have, without making the clip too lengthy, SOMEHOW conveyed that NOT talking about, as obvious as that is in seeming easier/safer to do, WILL PROBABLY do more harm to yourself than working up the courage TO TALK about it to SOMEONE that is trusted. It is important to convey that silence about this is harmful. For instance: Show the boy approaching his Mom and/or Dad and STARTING to disclose what Mr. So-and-so was doing to me. That is a rather straight way of showing HOW to do it.

Hell, I don't know.................


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#233555 - 06/25/08 07:16 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: Hauser]
testingWaters Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
I agree with Hauser that no ethics were breached in the film.

I can't make it all the way through that first video. But I think the main problem with it is the kid is so fake. He's so "gee-gosh" "gee-willikers." I would never have identified with him in a million years.


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#233868 - 06/26/08 06:30 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: testingWaters]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
This is all really valuable, guys. Thanks for your comments - they are helping me to focus my own thinking in an area where I really haven't thought about things so much yet.

So suppose someone came to you and said, hey, we're thinking of making something like this for kids, what do you think? Would you suggest changes, or scrap the whole thing and start over? What would you like to see in such a video? What kind of issues do you think would need to be addressed, and how would you try to get the message across?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#233882 - 06/26/08 07:43 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: roadrunner]
testingWaters Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
1. Make clear that people will believe you x1000
2. What to do if a parent is involved.
3. What to do if religion is involved
4. Have an adult who is well-adjusted and comforting speak to the camera about what happened to them, about how they remembered being afraid and alone and ashamed, feeling tricked etc. And about how once they grew up they could understand what had happened. But how when they were a kid it was scary and confusing.


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#233968 - 06/26/08 11:18 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: testingWaters]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
Originally Posted By: Hauser

Had I seen this video, it MIGHT have saved me, it MIGHT well have kept me from turning on myself. I MIGHT have approached my Dad or Aunt or SOMEONE that I trusted, even after being laughed at and mocked by my brother the very first time that I tried to disclose.


When i was in boy scouts about 12 years old. they showed us this very film. All the kids were laughing making jokes about it. I joined in making jokes but inside i felt terrible. I new this movie was speaking directly to me but I also new that unlike that boy it must have been my fault and i certainly didn't have the choice of talking about it.

I think it takes more than just a video to get a kid to speak out. For me at least it was direct conversation. eye contact from some one i care about saying Chris this stuff is wrong and we don't deserve it. Thats what it takes.



Edited by theatrekid (06/26/08 11:19 PM)

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#234039 - 06/27/08 09:40 AM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: theatrekid]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Christopher,

That's amazing - you saw this very film! Is there any way that something different would have let you think you had some options? I know that's a difficult question.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#234139 - 06/27/08 07:24 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: roadrunner]
irishguy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/04
Posts: 231
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
In my opinion I rekon the video is well made for the era it was broadcast in, it did put it out there that it is wrong but i think that no matter how well made the video is if you were to be of a young age watching a clip like that in a room full of your peers who are laughing and mocking it as it runs, it doesnt really give that encouragement to speak out, from a childs POV if everyone laughs at the boy in the video what will they do if you were to say it, its up to everyone, parents, teachers, to really show youngsters that it is a serious thing and that it shouldnt be happening and that there is always someone there to listen and help with out fear.
I dunno maybe im rambleing but thats my view...

Dean.

_________________________
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

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#234379 - 06/28/08 11:06 PM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: irishguy]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
Larry, I think this video could be an amazing first step in getting some one to speak out. For me i don't think i realized that this sort of thing happened to other people until seeing the movie so it was a good first step, But it would be 6 or 7 more years before i finally disclosed. The clip that you showed was part of a larger video that gave several different scenarios.

I kept the abuse secret from every one from time i was about 6 all the way until i was 17. It wasn't until i had a friend disclose to me about her own abuse that i realized i could talk about what happened to me. Until this point i didnt even realize my problems were connected to the abuse.

so to answer your question, I think educating our kids about abuse and then having a person they can feel safe with that is willing to invest the time and energy in the child to open up to them is really the only way to get kids to come out about their abuse.

Chris


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#234396 - 06/29/08 02:25 AM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: theatrekid]
Stretch73 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 336
Loc: Sea Isle City, NJ
I have been on this site for a couple of days. I haven't posted much. I've just been reading a lot of what other people write. To be honest, I don't know where to begin with my own bullshit.

I watched this video and it really hit me hard. I'm not an emotional guy at all, but this video really struck a chord with me. As a former police officer it upsets me. As a CSA victim, it disgusts me. My blood was boiling throughtout that video.

I just don't get it anymore. What the hell is going wrong with the world? Wars being fought because "My God is better than your God." Kids shot in front of their houses, in front of their parents and siblings, because they just happen to have been born on a different block. Children abused, sold, and minipulated for financial gain and deviant pleasure.

I'm tired of it all. When will it end?

_________________________
"I was so poor growing up, that if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with." Rodney Dangerfield

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#234408 - 06/29/08 03:37 AM Re: New awareness video for kids *****triggers**** [Re: Stretch73]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
Welcome to MS Stretch as they say sorry ya need us but glad ya found us.

To answer your question, I Think it will all end when we give up on borders, nationalities, and religions when peace dosnt mean no war for a while but no war. it will all end when we start excepting all people as just that people, our brothers and sisters who deserve just as much as I do.

Chris



Edited by theatrekid (06/29/08 03:38 AM)

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