Newest Members
susanhepp, Breathe, georgetwo, frozen45, lilac
12291 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
closure (24), esp22 (40)
Who's Online
3 registered (HD001, 2 invisible), 17 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12291 Members
73 Forums
63239 Topics
442215 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3
Topic Options
#234736 - 06/30/08 07:42 PM Re: bdsm? [Re: Trucker51]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
Originally Posted By: Trucker51



Any speculation how these guys were different or any labels?

Mark


If by "different" you mean different from someone into bdsm, then you answered your own question:

Originally Posted By: Trucker51


There was no consent or safe word involved as I was restrained and gagged at the point of a weapon.


As for labels, I just like to call them assholes but if you want something more clinical, I'm sure sociopathic sadist works too.

_________________________
My Story
My Art

Top
#234741 - 06/30/08 08:01 PM Re: bdsm? [Re: Trucker51]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
Originally Posted By: Trucker51
Someone else said that we keep replaying the events in our minds and seek out relationships where we are abused again, in order to validate our abuse or prove to ourselves that it actually happened.

Mark


There might be something to that! I don't really know what my unconscious motives were but in looking for someone to play bdsm with I somehow I managed to find two people in a row who tend to get carried away with the sadism. I'm determined that there won't be a third. I've wondered if I'm seeking to relive my abuse to feel somehow closer to the person I was before the abuse. I don't know if that makes any sense, but that's how it seems to me sometimes.

_________________________
My Story
My Art

Top
#234773 - 06/30/08 09:10 PM Re: bdsm? [Re: blueshift]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
I wasn't looking for it, but it found me, back when I was 22 to 24. A close friend who was a year younger and also fairly isolated, revealed that he had been raped and sexually abused several times as a teenager, and later propositioned me under the influence of IV cocaine, (an addiction that he and his brother introduced me to). It seemed like we both wanted the same thing. We both got to play abuser and victim alternately. Eight months after he broke it off in 1982 he killed himself of an overdose. It was a good study in how to lose a close friend.

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



Top
#238813 - 07/18/08 04:41 PM Re: bdsm? [Re: Trucker51]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
Trucker, I may be misreading this but, your last statement here seemed to indicate that you feel you were complicit somehow in friend's demise. If that's the case,---just based on what you stated here, I would have to strongly disagree. I can see no connection at all between anything you did with him and his fatal overdose.
Even if you feel his self destruction was in some way a reaction to some aspect of your involvement with him, you still had no way of knowing he would react that way. If anyone should feel responsible at all I would say it would be the one who abused him who set him on his course of self destruction.

_________________________
My Story
My Art

Top
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.