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#232651 - 06/22/08 10:30 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Shy_Guy]
Wyclef_Bakr Offline


Registered: 06/22/08
Posts: 51
Loc: Doorstep of Thugz Mansion.
My biggest fear was letting my children down and hurting them, I don't know what me not being there for weeks and months at a time has done to them.


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#232657 - 06/22/08 10:51 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Wyclef_Bakr]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
I fear my bed
I fear being in my bed in the dark in my room alone
I fear having to re-live it
I fear anything i might recall, any bad dream, i fear losing control, fear becoming really frightened and not being able to return to my senses
I fear that it was allowed

I fear that i may ruin my education if i don't learn to go to sleep properly again

I fear that i will never sleep properly again

I fear that i would be blamed or not believed (i know i know all irrational things but they are still there- for now)

I fear that i will never be able to connect with somebody in a loving way

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#232660 - 06/22/08 10:57 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Wyclef_Bakr]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: Wyclef_Bakr
My biggest fear was letting my children down and hurting them, I don't know what me not being there for weeks and months at a time has done to them.


Wyclef, that is a very honest place to start, that must have been difficult for you to say, and it's honourable that you start with this item of "i don't know", it shows that you have great strength within you to be able to put yourself out there in that place of vulnerability, that uncertain ground, and to start with such an enthusiasm and willingness to address these issues head on.

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#232664 - 06/22/08 11:15 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Shy_Guy]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
Jason,
I was just trying to survive the abuse I endure as a child as best I could. It took me 18 yrs to get enough time from my abuse to be a to even ackowldge what had happen. I found a safe place and people who were willing to listen and help me deal with what had happen to me as a child. When I first start dealing with my abuse I was overwhelmed by all the feelings that came rushing to the surface. At first I didn't think I would survive them. But in TIME (time is important) I am learning to deal with them better.---Mike---

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#232801 - 06/23/08 04:16 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Wyclef_Bakr]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Bakr,

Originally Posted By: Wyclef_Bakr
My biggest fear was letting my children down and hurting them, I don't know what me not being there for weeks and months at a time has done to them.

The truth of the matter is that you were in a very dark place yourself for a long time. Nyjah got a lot of help with his problems during that time and maybe that was for the best. In any case, he have him back now - that's what is important. I hope you can both focus on that and use your love for each other to help each other heal. He adores you Bakr, he really does. What an amazing gift. I hope you can embrace it without reservations and build on it together.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#232833 - 06/23/08 07:10 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: roadrunner]
rehpotsirhcs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/07
Posts: 204
My greatest fear is that everyone will abandon me.


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#232842 - 06/23/08 08:41 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
My greatest fear is coming to the realization that kids continue to be abused every day. It's the reason why I can't leave this site no matter how much I want to.

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#232843 - 06/23/08 08:42 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: BJK]
testingWaters Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
was looking at the "active topics" and this ordering took the words out of my mouth:

what do you fear the most?
My Dad Joining.


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#232850 - 06/23/08 09:02 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: testingWaters]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
I did that on purpose, you know:)

Just kidding, of course. My biggest fear might actually be my mom joining, but since I know that will never happen, I can rest easy.

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#233014 - 06/24/08 08:57 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: rehpotsirhcs
My greatest fear is that everyone will abandon me.


I get that all the time too, Chris, and that is a really hard thing to shake, it's similar to the fear of being alone, i think, but harder, because being abandoned has with it the idea that you are alone and it is your fault. That will take time to change for sure, and i will be doing this with you.

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
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