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#232043 - 06/19/08 11:39 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: jcf1957]
Grunty1967b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 823
Loc: Australia
Fear that I will be sexually abused again. Crazy that as an adult I'd fear that but it's probably the little me thinking that.

Where do the two separate? The little me and the now me? I feel I just arrived at adulthood. Strange hey?


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#232048 - 06/20/08 12:17 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Grunty1967b]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
death.


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#232049 - 06/20/08 12:22 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Jarrad]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
death sounds peaceful to me Jarrad, sounds.....like ahhhhh, finally, finally my stupid brain will shut the fuck up.

_________________________
Thriving

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#232051 - 06/20/08 12:26 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: mogigo]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
I fear loosing everything that I have worked so hard, and struggled for so long, to accomplish.

Detroit Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#232060 - 06/20/08 01:13 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: jcf1957]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
BEING ALONE

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#232075 - 06/20/08 02:49 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: OKIE MIKE]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6843
Loc: USA
My larger struggles as an adult (and child) were with a fear of people. I had a lot of negative interactions with that species and that has been a difficult gremlin to whip.

As a boy in 8th grade I became ostracized by other boys and teachers for being queer. I was ingloriously "kicked off" the football team. The coach felt it was his duty to persecute me.

I also have had struggles with fears of abandonment. The abuse of me in the boy scout camp led to a range of fears. I was afraid of sex and of touching and of being abused. But yet I had "DID" and did (is that where they got the name DID? ) things with other boys which I later had no memory of doing.

My perp in the boy scout camp methodically threatened me with a knife hundreds of times: "If you ever tell, I will find you and kill you." And sometimes" "Are you going to tell?" "No". I was also tortured, starved and subjected to sm sex. I truly believed my life was in danger. On the last day of the camp I didn't know whether he was going to kill me or release me. When he released me I walked away with measured steps the way you would walk away from a mad dog. I still have fears of this deep in my subconscious mind.

Since I had been threatened about talking and had become a social outcast at school, I lost my ability of speech. It took over 3 years to get that back. Fear of talking!!!

edited by Puffer to improve content

Puffer




Edited by pufferfish (06/24/08 12:47 PM)

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#232084 - 06/20/08 04:32 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: pufferfish]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
.



Edited by SEVEN ARROWS (06/24/08 08:11 AM)

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#232096 - 06/20/08 07:19 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Jarrad]
jcf1957 Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
I can understand easily how people will fear "death".

However; I tend to believe death is just another state in evolution. Much like a caterpiller entering a cacoon and evolving into a new form of being. A different state of mind or spirit.

Being a God fearing person; perhaps what I fear most is not doing that which I have been predestined to accomplish in life with the talents that have been graciously given to me.

_________________________
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.
Anonymous

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#232105 - 06/20/08 08:00 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: jcf1957]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1963
Loc: durham, north england
Fear of death is something I personally don't understand, and in fact has been something I've written about.

personally, my view on death is that if there is an afterlife, well great! I'll find out when I get there.

if on the other hand there isn't, ---- well there won't be any me there to worry about it, so it's not a problem.

to quote epicurus "Death is nothing to us, for where we are, death has not come, and when death has come we are not"

As for me, there are lots of things which scare me by association, physical contact, the S word, the smell of cigarettes etc.

I think though the thing I'm most afraid of is nothing, just to exist and not feel or create or be. Ive occasionally had some awful nightmares about just hanging alone in utter darkness.

this is why I want to deal with my Sa, sinse I think I've been sinking into something like that state for a couple of years.


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#232114 - 06/20/08 08:29 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: dark empathy]
jcf1957 Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
Interesting train of thought.

Some of what you say reflects what mystics refer to as
("The Dark Night Of The Soul")

Check this link for a brief summary;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_night

Many religions also speak of similar expressions of the human soul experiencing a void of darkness often unspeakable and difficult to articulate in human language. Pain is often incorporated in that void.

_________________________
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.
Anonymous

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