Newest Members
DougieB, sethpeterson, R Ellis, SailingAway, Kitty6
12320 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Healer (53), Kilo (21), sdsjr (40), surfdude (57)
Who's Online
0 registered (), 17 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12320 Members
74 Forums
63373 Topics
443142 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 4 5 >
Topic Options
#231774 - 06/19/08 12:03 AM what do you fear the most?
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
i fear rejection the most. after several years of abuse, my older brother perp one day, simply dismissed the years of sexual initiation; that twas the ultimate rejection for me, who had, i am ashamed to admit, come to look forward to his attention. i was flattered by it. after closing the door, he died and left me alone to deal with his usage of me.

rejection defeats me and paralyzes me, and anything that vaguely resembles it disarms me to the point where it steals my power to defend myself.

ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


Top
#231777 - 06/19/08 12:14 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Sans Logos]
testingWaters Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
a stupid chintzy puppet of the devil that my neighbor owned when i was a little boy. (see my new thread in the members section).

oh, and rejection too....


Top
#231830 - 06/19/08 10:19 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: testingWaters]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
humiliation
rejection is high - but being purposely humiliated and shamed ... for me that's the big one.

m

PS - GOOD topic choice, Ron.


Top
#231835 - 06/19/08 10:39 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: MarkK]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
1. The big one for me was fear of not being believed. That one was drilled into me by the abuser, of course.

2. I guess there is one that still troubles me, and that would be fear of returning to drugs, even though I have been clean nearly 33 years. And yeah, I guess being shamed by others for the things I was willing to do for the sake of drugs back then. Long time ago, but it still eats at me somehow.

Good thread. We have to talk about this stuff otherwise it will continue to influence us.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#231848 - 06/19/08 11:25 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: roadrunner]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
That my assault was nothing to complain about. That being raped by a woman was something I should be happy about.

MS set me straight

Stay strong
Mike

_________________________
Thriving

Top
#231858 - 06/19/08 11:45 AM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: roadrunner]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
1. of being loved
2. of being not LOVED.
The first equaled abuse and the second loniliness. I fear the fRist one more.

ONE DAY AT A TIME
MIKE

.



Edited by michael banks (06/19/08 11:46 AM)
_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

Top
#231866 - 06/19/08 12:05 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: michael banks]
Justintime1 Offline


Registered: 06/19/08
Posts: 16
abandonment and not being believed


Top
#231872 - 06/19/08 12:24 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Justintime1]
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills
I used to fear rejection. I never felt like I was good enough in any thing that I did so I overcompensated; I had to do everything perfectly or I was a failure.

I have much more compassion for myself that I only had for others before. I'm only human, I will make mistakes. Hopefully I will learn from them and move forward.

_________________________
I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

Top
#231874 - 06/19/08 12:25 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: Justintime1]
charles law Offline


Registered: 06/04/08
Posts: 28
Loc: perth australia
fear that no one believe me
fear of rejection is my biggest
fear of being laughted at that i am not a strong man
fear not ever finding love and fulfillment in life
fear not being able to work through all this stuff
fear of living and dying.


Top
#231959 - 06/19/08 07:01 PM Re: what do you fear the most? [Re: roadrunner]
jcf1957 Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
Never finding peace from a painful past that forever haunts me.

_________________________
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.
Anonymous

Top
Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 4 5 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.