Ron,


No problem. I don't want to hijack the thread, but yes, I did like it in a certain sense. I hated and feared the abuse and the abuser, but by then I thought I wasn't good for anything else and this was all I deserved. I would dissociate and "drift away", trying not to think about the crying boy in the room below me, but the building orgasms would always kind of "harpoon" me and bring me back. In a way I felt like Moby Dick, or better, a staked vampire.

So as you can see, the idea of "liking it" was pretty complicated for me. And what I was missing back then, as an abused boy, was the fact that if a kid gets erections and orgasms and ejaculates, those are just physical reactions to sexual stimulation. A boy will react like that even if he fears and dislikes what is being done to him. All his reactions prove is that his sexual plumbing is working as it's supposed to work - no more.

Much love,
Larry

And my favorite: "So you're in therapy to keep from becoming a pedophile?"

i always get asked "how come you dont have a girlfriend?" "are you gay or something?"

''So your schizophrenic'' when people find out about alters.

On my first job out of college, I visited 3 friends I respected. Upon leaving, I hesitated at the door and listened. One of them said:

"What's wrong with him?"

Now all of us on this MS site know the answer.

Puffer

At a big summer party with all of my social crowd there, after I had been unable to respond to the advances of three eligible white-collar women that I already knew, a guy I knew asked in front of the whole group, "What's the matter, you don't like women or something? You probably gay, huh?" (Think NYC accent) It wasn't the first time, but it was a really bad place for it. You know how many of those people that I have seen since then? On the other hand, it was the crisis that first gave me the courage to try the back stairs that led to my first therapist's office in 1986. (I was too scared to try the front door or the elevator, which only led to his office). At least with the back stairs, there was the security of multiple possible destinations and if I ran into anyone, they wouldn't know where I was going for sure.

Hey, 120 posts. A work in progress!

Mark

"Has anyone seen _____ (_________) about?"

or

"You around?"

seem to be pretty fucking unwanted questions

this is one that i didn't mind but it makes me laugh.

"did you prod or did you get prodded?"

(from an ex-girlfriend i recently disclosed to - she had an honest curiosity and it was a cute way to put it, for me, though i can imagine it might have horrified someone else. guess it all depends on the relationship you have with the persn)

how are you in love with him?

why are you here?

i like the way fiona apple puts it:

from the song get him back 'get him back'

'one man he disappoint me;
he give me the GOUGE and he take my glee'