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#231644 - 06/18/08 12:14 PM Re: new to group and gay [Re: unitedfit]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
Originally Posted By: unitedfit
...any advice on reversing the sexual triggers that cause a guy to look for simailr patterns to there abuse[?]


Should I be surprised that answering that question does not appear to be at or near the top of everyone's list of keys to recovery?

I started a thread about that recently ("My Flashback Experience") and came up with a way of 'reprocessing' the traumatic experiences during flashbacks, and the key (for me at least) is being proud of the flashback experience by sharing it with others who are close to me as well as bringing it here. I think the best word to describe how one might go about sharing the reality of the flashback experience with anyone we want would be to share it, "shamelessly".

It is already widely accepted and understood that flashbacks are caused by the failure to properly process the traumatic experience initially (which is of course no fault of our own). Thus it is logical to expect that resolution should or could be the result of using each other as well as professionals as a resource to properly process the emotions that we re-experience during the flashback period, and understanding that your thought process (beliefs) need to be replaced or, "updated". Until the beliefs and subsequent emotions that are intrinsic to the flashback experience are processed successfully, they will persist.

I think I killed the thread by over-intellectualizing it too soon, but feel free to bring it back to life or better yet, start your own!

Craig

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#231653 - 06/18/08 01:09 PM Re: new to group and gay [Re: cbfull]
charles law Offline


Registered: 06/04/08
Posts: 28
Loc: perth australia
Hi Craig,

I am new here and for me flashbacks wasnít a happy experience for all in all it would send me hiding and crying I would quit a job or leave a situation and say a prayer asking God to help it didnít matter if God was real or not I just needed someone bigger than me to help deal with it.. And I kind of do the same for anxiety and panic attracts those where the days of being young for the most I didnít know what was happening to me.

Now as an adult only in threading situations flashbacks come back so for me itís about keeping safe and not put myself in harms way.

And as for looking for similar sexual patterns of abuse..

well for me as a teenager being highly sexual I realize I still played the victim in aspect to being pickup by strangers and going off with them, I meet in bars clubs and pub toilets but never let anyone go near my butt this played out for ages even when I met someone while I was in relationships until now when I realized what I was doing. I always look for older male and even in my relationships.

I think that somethingís I have been played out and others I had to fight out as in making sure I wasnít the perp and hurt others in my mind and life I stood up for people being abused or help them to find help. Remembering the suffering that it caused helped me see that I would never be a perp.

Charles auWarrior
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...true#Post230919



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