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#231000 - 06/14/08 05:53 PM Happy Father's Day.....well, mostly
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
I told my wife this morning "You know that tomorrow is Father's Day." And she said "Yes, it is. What do you want?"

That struck me by surprise for a moment, because my reason for reminding her was because I knew we needed to go get something for our fathers -- it hadn't occurred to me to think of the day in the context of me being a father (which I am).

So it seems that each Father's Day I get so hyped up on stressing out about my relationship with my father (with is totally shitty). But a high point today was that I got a card in the mail this afternoon from my in-laws. In it, my mother-in-law had written:

Quote:

Eddie,

You are such a blessing to us, and a really good father to our granddaughters. We love you. Mom and Dad

Have a wonderful day


The are more like real parents to me than my own biological parents are. I just love my in-laws to pieces.

This got me thinking about what I do right as a father, instead of being so focused on how crappy a relationship I have with my father. I thought I would make a list of ways that I'm a good father:

1. I tell my daughters that I am proud of them often.
2. I tell my daughters that I love them every day, and I hug them as well.
3. My daughters are not afraid to talk to me, and tell me about when they're troubled and they ask my advice.
4. I think I'm a good father.

Feel free to add your own thoughts here.

_________________________
Eddie

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#231016 - 06/14/08 07:02 PM Re: Happy Father's Day.....well, mostly [Re: EGL]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11104
Loc: Denver, CO
I tend to refer to it as Father Issues Day.

Your in-laws sound like a real blessing, Eddie! \:\)

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#231019 - 06/14/08 07:21 PM Re: Happy Father's Day.....well, mostly [Re: FormerTexan]
michael banks Offline


Registered: 06/12/08
Posts: 1755
Loc: Mojave Desert, Ca
I am going to call my father tomorrow and tell him Happy Fathers Day. I usually forget or choose not to remember. Today my relationship with him is alot better than it was in the past. I have had to overcome alot of hurt,anger and abandonment issues. For years he knew that i had been abused and he not to address the it. But that is how he deals with life.

_________________________
To own one's shadow is the highest moral act of a human.
-Robert Johnson-

"IT ought never be forgotten that the past is the parent of the future" John C. Calhoun

WOR Alumni Sequoia 2009

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#231030 - 06/14/08 08:22 PM Re: Happy Father's Day.....[trigger issue?] [Re: EGL]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
i have been thinking about this for the past several days, ever since i responded to a post that dealt with someone who lost his biological father at age 4.

since then, i have been thinking a lot about how many guys and gals on this site had been abused by their fathers, making it not so happy an occasion.

i have really mixed emotions..... i wonder what is going thru the minds and hearts of those who had suffered at the hands of their fathers and father figures.

my biological father died in 2005. we did not have a negative relationship.....we just really had an indifferent one; i don't think he really understood or 'got me', and i followed his lead very early on in life by just not even bothering. we never had a meaningful conversation; he was silent and angry. and he was scary because of that. he was an excellent provider, and devoted tho, i'll give him that. rip 'dad'.

i do admit that i miss never having a significant father figure in my life.

thanks the opportunity to speak my piece,


ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#231054 - 06/14/08 11:17 PM Re: Happy Father's Day.....[trigger issue?] [Re: Sans Logos]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Eddie,

What a cool post. It has always been clear to me what a good father you have been; it shows in all the wonderful photos I have seen of you with your two girls.

Am I a good father? I think so. Certainly I have tried to be the best father I can. Yes, there have been moments when I dropped the ball, but I give myself permission to be imperfect.

I know Father's Day is rough for some of us. There are guys here who no longer have their fathers with them. I want you to know I am thinking of you. There are others who were abused or neglected or mistreated by their fathers. I want you to know I will never pretend to understand your pain, but I will always be around to listen. I want you to know - and believe - that you deserved to be made to feel special, loved and important, even if it didn't work out that way.

Perhaps we can share the day by thinking of what kind of fathers all boys deserve.

Much love,
Larry


_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#231058 - 06/14/08 11:27 PM Re: Happy Father's Day.....[trigger issue?] [Re: roadrunner]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
This day is one of the two worst days I have every year.

m


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#231066 - 06/15/08 12:07 AM Re: Happy Father's Day.....[trigger issue?] [Re: MarkK]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

I hear you. You deserved better and I wish things could have been different.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#231089 - 06/15/08 04:57 AM Re: Happy Father's Day.....[trigger issue?] [Re: roadrunner]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
I just hide until this day is over, everyone is sending cards and there are adverts on the radio and in the papers about it. Buy this for fathers day and give them a nice suprise and tell them how much you love them.
Makes me sick.
Makes me sick
Makes me sick


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#231112 - 06/15/08 10:17 AM Re: Happy Father's Day.....[trigger issue?] [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
(((((Ben)))))

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#231128 - 06/15/08 11:05 AM Re: Happy Father's Day.....[trigger issue?] [Re: roadrunner]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1245
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
My real dad (grandpa) is passed away, but here's what I'd say to my sperm donor/dad/perp...



_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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