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#23031 - 11/25/02 02:05 PM still struggling
bec Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/02
Posts: 187
Loc: chicagoland area
hello men:

have not posted in a while. i have been struggling. wanted to say hi to you all. i continue struggling with porn desires. in the last 17 days i have visited 5 adult bookstores.
i have not rented any porn but i have viewed many images and regretted it cuz the images stayed in my mind and desires for days after.

i last rented porn some 58 1/2 weeks ago and i definitely want to rent again. i am stuck. do i or don't i?

i pray again and again that my God will let me know what to do. i do believe i am a sex addict. in the book by Carnes, "sexual anorexia", it states that sexual anorexics are "terrified of their own sexuality." these words have been going round and round in my head since i first read them.

i've been asking myself if this applies to me. i feel it does. i have never been sexual in my life. i am a 40 year old virgin.

i was emotionally incested by my mother for some 30-35 years and if i let her have her way i believe it would continue to this day. emotionally/psychologically breaking away from her was one of the hardest things i have ever done.

oh Lord, it feels good to share this with you all. that is all i am willing to say right now. i will come back to this board as soon as i feel strong enough. may our Gods help us all with our struggles. love and peace,

bec


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#23032 - 11/25/02 08:30 PM Re: still struggling
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Bec
The ideal answer is to try and resist, and not feel guilty when we don't.

But this is the real world, we try as hard as we can. And for that we should feel pleased with ourselves.
Sometimes we give in ( we never fail completely ;\) ) and we begin to feel guilty.

So I just go for a compromise, I try my hardest and feel good about that. If I backslide a bit , well - I forget about that bit....

Takes a bit of practice Bec, but don't beat yourself up, it's so much easier to feel good about what you have achieved.

Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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