Mike,

Well, you're right - not pretty, but you were in a tough situation and you got the job done. Maybe it will help you to know that the kinds of questions you got are pretty typical for situations like this.

For example, she asks why you didnít tell her when it was happening. She has in mind that she would have stopped it, but she doesn't realize that a kid usually cannot speak up and tell; he is too ashamed, confused and afraid. She doesn't realize that to you this is a victim-blaming question, like asking "Why didn't you say no?" The same applies to her question if any of it was consensual. That is irritating in spades! What she doesn't see is that what is happening is that the kid is being tricked, groomed, and made dependent on the abuser. I can tell you, Mike, that I went back to the abuser lots of times; I even joined school chorus (the abuser told me to) so I would have an excuse for being home late from school. But now I can see that there was never a time that I "consented".

Your Mom is going to need a lot of education where CSA is concerned, but at least she sounds willing to learn more. That's perhaps the best news of all in this episode.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)