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#23020 - 12/12/05 08:44 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Grunty1967b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 823
Loc: Australia
Bullshit!

It affects every part of us.

(Not agro at you Tom, just the inference from some that it 'just' affects 'parts' of our life).

It pretty much screwed me entirely. I am getting better though - every part of me.


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#23021 - 12/12/05 01:53 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
I am a religious and spiritual man (I think), but leaving that input aside I do think that there are merits to both sides of this debate.

As I work towards recovery I see more and more of what Bruce (Grunty) is getting at. Abuse has had a comprehensive effect on me and it seems to have touched every aspect of my life. The more I think about things and try to work on my issues, the more complicated and pervasive it all seems. No part of my life has remained unharmed; no one close to me has emerged unhurt. The impact is devastating, and I think there is no way around this fact.

That said, I did manage to survive and fight off the numerous thoughts I had of suicide. I did manage to get through years of drug and alcohol abuse. I did manage to embark on a successful career, marry a loving and caring woman, and raise a wonderful family.

How do I acknowledge both of these apparently contradictory facts? For me what works is to think of myself has possessing a spirit or soul that, however battered, has remained intact through the years. The man who is emerging in me now is the man of my true potential - I am not reinventing myself, I am getting back in touch with the goodness and virtue that was always there.

Do we call that a soul? I do, but I don't insist on the term. Whatever it is, it is something within us that we can call upon for whatever strength we need. Maybe it is just a willingness to believe in ourselves.

Whatever it is, I think of it as something that we can lose only by giving up and throwing it away. No one and no evil can take it away from us.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#23022 - 12/13/05 11:09 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Tom,

our souls are never taken, but we have to live with the fact that our childhoods were battered beyond regognition.

The frequency, violence, or whatever does not matter, it is more a case of abuse affecting your every aspect of life.

In many respects, the guys here seem to be so far and away thoughtful of others because of the hurt they suffered in the past.

The guys here show me so much strength to carry on, and they validate so many of my own past fears, but I reckon, that this place has shown me how to be strong when I just felt so weak, and all alone.

I am deeply humbled by some of the hurt that these other members have endured, and they still fight so hard through life, but I guess I would love them all as friends, more than any ordinary friendship could ever accomplish.

I am sorry that I have not posted for so long, but I have had a few problems, and could not get so much on line for months, but here I am.

Abuse, is abuse, is abuse, no matter what time frame or whatever, if it affects your everyday life for years, because of whatever affect it has had on your normal life, it is abuse.

You cannot detach the beautiful boy, who he was meant to be, even though others may find it difficult to understand him now or in the past.

The biggest issue in my life, is family denial of my past, but, I just said to them forget about it, after telling them all the problems I faced, they denied me.

They can forget, but not myself, and if they deny me, then that is their problem, not mine, but at least I gave them a chance.

Hey though Tom, I guess you have a place in heaven, and I hope that I have also,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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