The feelings that we deserved what happened to us, the feelings that it was our fault someone. We have those feelings, but they're not right. We feel them, but they aren't true. We all here struggle with those feelings. It's the nature of this evil that was done to us. Makes us try to take the blame for what happened, when the blame really belongs to others. You're parents had a responsibility to protect you and keep you safe, and they failed miserably, and even cause much of your troubles by send you out to get their fix for them. The blame is theirs and those that hurt you.
But you still feel like it was your fault. Those feelings are false feelings. It's hard to get to a place where we can begin to deal with them and correct them.