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#229986 - 06/09/08 11:59 PM Triggered at the Christian Book Store Today
Barkabus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/09/08
Posts: 809
*** WARNING - POSSIBLE TRIGGERS***

Mom wanted to stop at a Christian book store this afternoon. While there I wandered about the store looking at books, bibles, Christian music CD's, etc. Then I came upon a painting that was on display near the checkout counter. The very second I laid eyes on it I began to sob uncontrollably. I immediately dashed out of the store so I could allow the emotional release without causing a scene. I sobbed.

After a few minutes I gained back my composure, dried my eyes and went back into the store. I needed to take a closer look at this painting that triggered me without warning. What was this that threw me for a loop? I cautiously approached the painting again. It is a simple image of a father praying over his son of about 7-8 years, maybe younger, who is asleep in bed with his arm embracing a teddy bear. With his right hand, the father is holding his son. The fatherís left hand is on his forehead, as though he is intensely concerned for his son's well being. In the background, through a window there is a faint image of an angel, all white engaging a dark looking creature, presumably a demon.
The title of the painting is "Spiritual Warfare." The artist is Ron DiCianni.

This image rushed me back to that age. I wasn't prayed for by my dad back then. No one that I am aware for contended for my safety on their knees before the Lord during my childhood. What if?

Here is the painting. I found an image of it online at Ron DiCianni's website.





Edited by Barkabus (06/10/08 01:08 AM)
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My Story

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#229991 - 06/10/08 12:13 AM Re: Triggered at the Christian Book Store Today [Re: Barkabus]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11027
Loc: Denver, CO
Mike,

"No one that I am aware for contended for my safety on their knees before the Lord during my childhood."

The first instance of any adult seemingly giving a flip about my mere existence was at 13yo when my bus driver took pity on me. He prayed with me as we went on a bus route by ourselves, for the next group of kids. It set a good course for my life since it seemed few if any cared at the time.

This is quite a painting you shared.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#229997 - 06/10/08 12:57 AM Re: Triggered at the Christian Book Store Today [Re: FormerTexan]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
I don't see the angel fighting the demon, but I can see that, if deprived of love, you could be very stimulated in a strange way by such a painting.


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#230482 - 06/12/08 01:30 AM Re: Triggered at the Christian Book Store Today [Re: Barkabus]
Bulala Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/09/08
Posts: 17

Wow...what a beautiful painting! I can totally see how that could trigger something like that. But here is also something I noticed...about what you said...you said you just began to cry uncontrollably, and that you allowed yourself to have that sadness....grieving for the loss of something in your childhood that you didn't even know that you lost but now you do!

What struck me about this is that (in our home's and my FH's recovery process we are learning ALL about these 5 stages of recovery and grief etc.) you allowed yourself to be sad. and you went on and HAD that emotion and then went back to figure out WHY you had that emotion. And sadness is pretty much only able to really be had like that if you have let go of the anger about it...so you are past the anger on this issue!
I love that.
It gives me hope!

And there must be loads of reasons why God put you in that place at that time (as, I'm sure you know)
...maybe its so that you know you can pray for yourself now, even if no one was doing it then.
...maybe its to do this post so someone else is blessed by what blessed you and learns from what you learned.
...maybe its just so that you can know what a father's love actually looks like, even if just a glimpse.
...maybe you could look at it if the father was "God" and he is hurting for what that little boy has had to go through! (read "The Shack")

anyway, way to go. Love it...I'm hanging it in my son's room one day when I have one!! hehehe....

_________________________
"There's life outside of your madness, and there's a face behind every scar...but theres a LOVE overflowing with gladness. Get out of that place that's restraining your love."

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#230516 - 06/12/08 05:46 AM Re: Triggered at the Christian Book Store Today [Re: Bulala]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mike,

What a powerful painting. I have to say that I have always felt that my own Dad was like the guy in the painting. He has often said he tries to be a good father and has sought God's guidance to do that. I believe him.

Thanks for sharing this with us. I had never seen this painting before. I can see how it must have triggered you.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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