Newest Members
tammy m, TheConqueror, Bloom, JohnWC, KKumar
12423 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
biggbill70 (44), CP4 (24), EddieMi (46), EddieT (46), hemi1024 (54), Kage (70), kdj_74 (40), Knightswhitehart (49), otlhouston (47), TX_Space (47), VirtualBman (50)
Who's Online
5 registered (Esposa, woodenshoes, sorryson, 2 invisible), 19 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12423 Members
74 Forums
63801 Topics
445522 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4 >
Topic Options
#22989 - 02/22/05 08:24 AM Our Untouchable SOULS
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
REPOSTING this because of this from shadowkid


Quote:
he broke my mind and he still has the key to my soul .
I know in the past that I have agreed with many here who have said our souls have been murdered or stolen by the abuse done to us. I have even wrote about it when we where lobbying at the State capital for changes in the statutes of limitation a few years ago.

However after a long discussion this last week with Ray my T in KY I don’t know for sure what to think. He say that no matter at what age it started, how bad it was or how long it lasted our souls where untouched by the abuse. Our souls are so deep within us that the abuse did not affect that part of our being.

What do you guys think????? Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

Top
#22990 - 02/22/05 03:59 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Rustam Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 471
Loc: UK
Hi Muldoon,

I don’t have any sense of a soul in the spiritual sense, but I do and always have had a sense that my essential self, the genetic givens or whatever we are born with remains somehow intact. I have an image of my real self as covered up by the ugly crust of abuse. The recovery from this stuff is for me about revealing the real self that gets smothered by what happened. When I have felt how deep this goes it does feel like a wound in the heart, that it ruined me in some essential way and yet I feel that somehow the real me is still there. My abuse started very young so I can’t compare a before and after. I once believed that my depression was an ingrained personality trait that I always had and always would have, but I am out of most of that and other feelings and behaviours that I thought were me, have changed too.

Maybe I won’t allow myself to feel that victimised, but I do feel that the essential real me was covered up and split off but untouched by the abuse.

Rustam.


Top
#22991 - 02/22/05 04:36 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
ForeverFighting Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1058
Loc: New Mexico, USA
You're right. Maybe we should call it attempted-murder of the soul. Or maybe it's what we choose to do with our lives afterwards. It does take a toll like no other. Like our power sources were depleted, and it takes a long time to get that power back. Even now the lights dim occasionally, and I have to go stand in the sun (figuratively) to recharge. Come to think of it, I have a lizard like that, too.

_________________________
ForeverFighting

"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

Top
#22992 - 02/22/05 05:00 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Muldoon,
Thank you for starting this thread. Unlike your T, I do believe our souls have been touched by the abuse. I don't believe our souls are static things that remain unchanged from experience and circumstance. I think murdered and stolen might be strong words, but at the very least the abuse may have cowered our souls, made them stronger, uncaring, sympathetic, certainly different than what they were, although not necessarily better or worse. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

Top
#22993 - 02/22/05 05:09 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Aden Offline
Member

Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 499
I am not sure about souls and all of that spiritual stuff. Yes I believe in the spirit, but proof is hard to come by. But I can feel very strongly a part of my being that remained untouched by the abuse. It has been that part of myself that has gotten me thru many of the more difficult trials in this life. I think that some people call it the “inner child.” I don’t really know if it actually goes untouched. In some people it may be seriously damaged and in others it may be strengthened by the same type of traumas.

Recent scientific studies have indicated that there may actually be a gene for spirituality. This might explain why we react so differently to the same stimuli.

Wish I could give a conclusive answer to this question but far wiser men than I have spent their whole lives studying this subject and failed to come up with concrete solutions.

Aden


Top
#22994 - 02/22/05 05:21 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Tom.

Wonderful thread.

As my T said last week, "I have a good soul. They have violated my body, but they couldn't touch my soul."

That they can't do. It may be buried a little, but it remains there untouched. We may need a little digging to uncover it, but it is there untouched.

Take care,
Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

Top
#22995 - 02/22/05 05:26 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Well I don't know about "souls" but I do thing that my tag line sums up what I feel regarding this subject.

From Switchfoot "Meant to Live"
"We were meant to live for so much more, but we lost ourselves. Somewhere we live inside"

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


Top
#22996 - 02/22/05 05:58 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
theo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 1117
i equate the soul with innocence and reverential awe. i that sense, the abuse did impact the soul, for it was an attempt to destroy that innocence and awe. however, i have found that even though my soul was impacted, i still have it. they did not destroy me, but they did put my development in temporary stasis. now, it is alive again, and it will thrive, as we all will.

_________________________
journey well,
theo dewolfe

- It is gift, and gift will find its way
- I inherit through my choice. I build through my affirmation. It is through my freedom that I nurture, or fade into autonomy
- I was not given to serve life, but to embrace it

Top
#22997 - 02/23/05 07:03 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Man what words have come forward from you, Too moved right how to reply. Have to print this out and read it away from the computer. Later TOM

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

Top
#22998 - 02/23/05 10:24 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
sadanddown Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/04
Posts: 191
Loc: Gaboogistan
I think it did mess with my 'soul' even though I'm not 100% sure of the meaning. It is a part of me and I will never be able to get rid of it. I can learn to deal with it, but it will always be there. I can learn to funcion more normally but it will still be there. I don't know why she chose me, why she did it, why I didn't do something about it even though I was young. But that will haunt me for a long time.

Jon

_________________________
I find I have to be the sad clown, laughing on the outside...crying on the inside.

Top
#22999 - 02/23/05 10:40 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
When the sun is shrouded behind the clouds, do we ever say that the sun has been damaged?

How can pure light be ever damaged?

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

Top
#23000 - 02/23/05 02:08 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
sadanddown Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/26/04
Posts: 191
Loc: Gaboogistan
Quote:
Originally posted by Morning Star:
When the sun is shrouded behind the clouds, do we ever say that the sun has been damaged?

How can pure light be ever damaged?
I don't feel that way though, I feel like the moon...and I've been beatin and scared by asteroids

Jon

_________________________
I find I have to be the sad clown, laughing on the outside...crying on the inside.

Top
#23001 - 02/24/05 12:11 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Tom - was your T ever abused? If not how on earth would he know?

If our souls are that part of us that is so deep within us, then maybe it was my soul that buried all that crap and kept it away from my mind until I could deal with it. My soul has always been resilient, I just never knew it - now it has come out fighting and does not know how to loose! It still gets kicked, but I am currently wearing it on the surface.

My abuser knows it & so do some of the petty authoritarians within the company that I work for.

My soul used to hide, now it's wearing boots!

Best wishes ..Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

Top
#23002 - 02/24/05 12:30 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Tom, hey they stole our inner soul, maybe they did ,or did they?

I spent so many years helping my inner child, I made up my mind that he would never steal what I was left with.

Ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#23003 - 02/26/05 01:28 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Quote:
Tom - was your T ever abused? If not how on earth would he know?
Ric the anserwer is yes he was at 14YO.

I going to spent some time reading over your words this week end and will repply to every one Sunday. Thanks

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

Top
#23004 - 02/26/05 02:37 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
I think our soul is not able to be ruined. No one have that kind of power.

I think it is like a beautiful sculptuer, that has fallen on the floor and broke. It take time, it take work and patience, but it can be put back together with glue. There will be parts of it that still are maybe more weaker, more fragile, then other parts. And if you look at it very close, you will maybe see the cracks, you will maybe see how it is put back together. But if you step back a few feet, it looks just as beautiful and just as perfect as always it did. The beauty is in the art. Not in the construct of it. Same is true of us. The beauty is in the soul. The cracks and damages can not darken the soul. It is only when we allow them that power that they can do that at all.

Andrei


Top
#23005 - 02/26/05 06:19 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Muldoon, I haven't read any of the other posts on this one. I don't want to be influenced. I don't want to engage in semantics, but there is a part of me....a very deep part. My child lives there now. He's safe there. That's where he went to live when everywhere else was too frightening. It is the deepest part of me. It's where I go when I need to find him. To talk. He cannot stay there. He has to come out and join me in this life...otherwise, I have learned nothing here. This part of me just might be my soul.

But you know, Muldoon, I don't think my soul has been damaged by all of this. My soul has been kind and loving to a child that the world chose to throw away. My soul opened up and took my child in. My soul protected me. The horrible trauma...the horrible realization...the terror and sadness of dealing with my abuse would come. AT some point it had to come. At some point I had to be devastated by the things that had been done to me. My soul was patient and held me close until the time that all of that poison would pour into my consciousness.

It is still patient as I try gently to pull my child out into the world, cold as it may be. Each day he comes out a little farther, and eventually I hope, will trust me enough to join me for whatever is left for us here in this world.

I will never, ever say that good came from this SA. Never.

I will, however say what I have said many times that the men who have survived SA are the strongest, kindest, most compassionate men I have ever known. Intense suffering will do that...it will put you in touch with the suffering of others in a very real way.

Likewise, I believe that I have been more in touch with my inner self..my soul? (especially lately) as I have unerstood my SA and the role my soul has had in keeping me alive all those years. Call it faith, call it God, call it what you will, it is with me and I feel it so very strongly supporting me. It participates not at all in all of this. The pain, the loss, the discovery are mine to deal with as I will. But in many ways I feel surrounded by it as I cry and as I rage and as I mourn the loss of the life I should have led.

If my soul has been changed by all of this, it is in the same way that I see all of myself changed. I recognize this horrible suffering in myself now and in turn have come to recognize it in others. And God help me if I ever ignore another's suffering for as long as I have left to live.

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




Top
#23006 - 02/26/05 07:30 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
there are times when I feel totally soulless, with no remainder after all that has happened in the past. But I know, logically, that can not be true. No one with a soul can love, can continue on with life after the worst of difficulties, without a soul. A soul equals a survivor. I think there is no 'survivor' without a soul. Damaged maybe. Darkened, no. Maybe scarred, maybe bruised. But never broken.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

Top
#23007 - 03/01/05 05:59 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Whicker Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/03
Posts: 117
Loc: Pastures of Oregon
Muldoon,

I have read, and reread your Post over the past couple of days, thinking and considering what you requested.
I am no expert in things theological, though I lean heavily towards an 'Earth-Based/Gia' principle.
Before reading the many good replies, I felt certain that the Soul can and does feel impacted by what happens to us in this Life.
Then I read 'Morning Star's' perspective about how the Soul is like the Sun, and can only be covered-up by clouds, but not tainted by the process.
Now, I'm not so sure.
I feel like my Soul is striated with different hues of pain/abuse/misery, highlighted with the fleeting moments of time when things seemed alright with the world and I knew happiness.

I appreciate your putting to words something that has caused me to seek further into my own Spirit.

I hope that your Journey is a Healing one.

Whicker

_________________________
Esse Quam Videri
(To be, rather than to seem)

Top
#23008 - 03/01/05 02:05 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Indy Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/17/04
Posts: 25
Loc: Indiana
This discussion for me gets to the core of my healing and recovery. Without some faith in some part of me that has remained whole, I don't know if I could have continued on this journey. Perhaps it is that stubborn, unyielding soul that will not allow the awful parts of life to go unnoticed-perhaps that is conscience, I am not certain, certainly it has also caused me great pain when I went to blame myself.

Last week, I was having a difficult time. I asked someone I barely knew to hug me. He did and then I explained what was going on and that I felt disconnected. He said that the Universe hates a vacuum-in other words it is always looking to have us be connected-and perhaps that is where we find that soul-when we are connected, when we feel a part, when we know we are important and loved.

I do believe that there is a part of us that remains whole, no matter what. When we feel safe enough to allow it -as Mariane Willimason said-Our Greatest Fear.....is to allow our light to shine...

ah, well, I digress. I know we can continue to feel love and loved. Perhaps that is enough in itself.

_________________________
Steven Cleaver

Top
#23009 - 03/01/05 02:05 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Indy Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/17/04
Posts: 25
Loc: Indiana
Williamson:)



Edited by Indy (03/17/07 07:27 PM)

Top
#23010 - 11/23/05 08:38 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
I am reposting this because of what shadowkid said in his post


quote:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
he broke my mind and he still has the key to my soul .
------------------------------------------------------------------------


Shadowkid I do not think he has the key to your soul because I do beleive now that our souls are untouched by the abuse.
Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

Top
#23011 - 11/23/05 10:44 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
The Seeker Offline
Member

Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 141
Loc: Ohio, USA
I think our souls are the living essence of our beings. They are essentially life. Since I am still alive, I would say my soul is intact.

_________________________
The answers are in me.

Top
#23012 - 11/24/05 01:37 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
wow something i said got everybody talking ,cool , to me my soul is where all my feelings come from, sometime during my abuse i stopped feeling ,anything ,i had to ,to feel meant i could not live with myself ,to feel meant i would have to be aware of what was happening to me . isn't the soul what makes you believe ,in anything? you don't know but you just believe ,like god, can't see him but your soul tells you he exists,i also stopped believing ,in anything ,i turned my emotions off ,i had to i became a souless zombie.what is a person without the ability to ,cry at sadness ,laugh at humor , to care or care about being cared about?can i take back my innocence?can i get back that childs wonder at the world around him ? can i wipe away the scars inside and out?can i get back the feeling that the world was a good and kind place ,can i reach into his heart and take back my faith in god .i can't do these things anymore than i can reach out and find my soul .it is a very fragile thing once broken can't be replaced .

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

Top
#23013 - 11/24/05 01:37 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Born to Resist Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/30/05
Posts: 269
Loc: Southern California, USA
Thanks for reposting this. This came up in my session with my T today. Clearly an issue to wrestle with. I wrestled with this issue for so long and bounced around to many perspectives. Here is where I am with it ...

I believe the one thing that was not damaged was my soul. The abuse damaged my physical well being at the time, my pscholgical self, emotions, thoughts, behaviors ... but not my soul. Yes the darkness may surround my psychological self and it may surround my soul ... but my soul is not dark.

I believe no one has the key to my soul ... my soul is mine to give ... whether to give it to a higher power (one which I argue with and get angry with at times) for the purpose of good or to give it to a darker power (one who I will always hate) for the purpose of evil.

I try to nurture my soul and let it nurture my spiritual self

Courage-Wisdom-Spirituality


Top
#23014 - 11/24/05 05:55 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
i don't know if i can explain it ,but when i believed in god or at least wanted to ,i felt that when we are born god made a mold for each of us ,it was a mold no one else had in a perfect world that mold would determine who we became just as god molded us ,but the abuse changed the mold, warped it,some of the clay got pushed out of shape ,yes i survived but not as the person god intended me ,i can never be the person i should have been ,i can heal and live but i can't be what i should have been ,because the mold was changed ,that mold to me is the soul ,the core, what makes us who we are supposed to be ,who god intended me to be ,i can't believe that the abuse was just part of god's plan for me .

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

Top
#23015 - 11/25/05 12:09 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Missed this first time around, glad I caught it this time.

"Soul"
I'm not religious, but I think I have some spirituality, some sense of my inner workings that have been with me from conception.
There are genetic links to my family from generations past, I see it in photo's of my great great grandfathers brother, the Reverend Hugh Lloyd. We look like twins and I wonder if we share more than a name and looks ( my middle name is Hugh and I was named after him )
He was a famous preacher throughout Wales in the days when Chapels were full three times every Sunday, and history has recorded his good works amongst the poor and sick. He's a hard act to follow :rolleyes:

It would be a privelige to think that his 'soul' carries on through me, but maybe all we share is our looks?
Maybe my 'soul' is inherited from the slightly famous 'Cardiganshire Swagman', a brother of the Reverend who went to Australia on a convict boat and escaped to live a life of sheep stealing?

Wherever my 'soul' comes from I think it's something innate and unchangeable, I think it's the source of my childhood strength and what enabled me to survive.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#23017 - 11/28/05 06:45 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
Only when we are in pain we bother to look what’s inside us, to find what’s hurting within us. That is when we find our Self in the process. Abuse is what makes sure we reach out to the source within to relieve that pain. Thus we connect back with our soul. Recovery is about reconnection, just as healing is about becoming whole again, by discovering the whole in us. That ends our feelings of pain and emptiness. And sure enough, this pain haunts us till we find ourselves. And that is a guarantee.

So when we as a soul choose to discover our self, we need experience something painful to remind us of who we are. And greater is the distance from our core, the greater force is needed to bring us back. That is the story of abuse.

This journey is about pain becoming a vehicle for us to reach our soul, to reconnect.
Pain is what opens a hearts up, closed for lifetimes. The problem occurs when we miss this point and instead take in abuse as a sign of self rejection. Infact abuse is nothing in front of our own self rejection which goes on for years. Later we blame everyone for our experience instead of letting it go. So much so, the abuse starts defining us and the abuser becomes the prime focus of our lives, instead of us.

Every body ‘loves’ to hate Judas, but we forget his role, in the life of Jesus. For without him there would have been no crucification, nor any resurrection. Similarly, if we take everything as divine plan then even abuse is the result of our past Karma and releasing ourselves from our past Karma is possible only by accepting our past Karma with grace and humility. In fact self forgiveness is last and final step in healing the experience of abuse, that’s when we are no longer a victim.

Next, comes the step of learning from it.

So when I feel my pain I am feeling my Self. And that is the by far the fastest way out, and not by trying fix ourselves like a broken jar. That way I would be fixing myself for the rest of our lives. Always feeling incomplete or unhealed.

Never realizing that it is our ego that makes us feel so and it would continue to do so, until we choose to think otherwise. And when we start identifying with the light, we become light. Pain becomes suffering only when it festers and becomes our life. The truth is that we were never really broken, so when I find myself saying, “O, I am broken!” I ask myself, “Who is saying this?”

Once our spiritual connection is found, it is easier to let go of the pain as we know that it is divine in its purpose. That is when pain doesn’t become suffering. Pain is where growth is trying to happen.

The rest is easy. Just as once we have the master key, we can open all the locks, and when we find love at home we know it would last forever. We no longer look for it outside.

In the end, abuse has to be seen as an empowering experience, one that has made us more whole and complete; that is when we can consider ourselves healed.

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

Top
#23018 - 11/29/05 03:51 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Lstincanberra Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/29/05
Posts: 6
Loc: Canberra, AUSTRAL:IA
Wanted to say
"while you hurt me, my soul looks and cries, my tears are for you, empty person, you are blind to me and,you that hurts others, you are empty on the inside".

_________________________
JstASK

Top
#23019 - 12/08/05 04:18 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Guys THANKS .
So many great ideals .and thoughts. I am going toshare some of your words with my T and get into this a little more. Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

Top
#23020 - 12/12/05 08:44 AM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
Grunty1967b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 823
Loc: Australia
Bullshit!

It affects every part of us.

(Not agro at you Tom, just the inference from some that it 'just' affects 'parts' of our life).

It pretty much screwed me entirely. I am getting better though - every part of me.


Top
#23021 - 12/12/05 01:53 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
I am a religious and spiritual man (I think), but leaving that input aside I do think that there are merits to both sides of this debate.

As I work towards recovery I see more and more of what Bruce (Grunty) is getting at. Abuse has had a comprehensive effect on me and it seems to have touched every aspect of my life. The more I think about things and try to work on my issues, the more complicated and pervasive it all seems. No part of my life has remained unharmed; no one close to me has emerged unhurt. The impact is devastating, and I think there is no way around this fact.

That said, I did manage to survive and fight off the numerous thoughts I had of suicide. I did manage to get through years of drug and alcohol abuse. I did manage to embark on a successful career, marry a loving and caring woman, and raise a wonderful family.

How do I acknowledge both of these apparently contradictory facts? For me what works is to think of myself has possessing a spirit or soul that, however battered, has remained intact through the years. The man who is emerging in me now is the man of my true potential - I am not reinventing myself, I am getting back in touch with the goodness and virtue that was always there.

Do we call that a soul? I do, but I don't insist on the term. Whatever it is, it is something within us that we can call upon for whatever strength we need. Maybe it is just a willingness to believe in ourselves.

Whatever it is, I think of it as something that we can lose only by giving up and throwing it away. No one and no evil can take it away from us.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#23022 - 12/13/05 11:09 PM Re: Our Untouchable SOULS
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Tom,

our souls are never taken, but we have to live with the fact that our childhoods were battered beyond regognition.

The frequency, violence, or whatever does not matter, it is more a case of abuse affecting your every aspect of life.

In many respects, the guys here seem to be so far and away thoughtful of others because of the hurt they suffered in the past.

The guys here show me so much strength to carry on, and they validate so many of my own past fears, but I reckon, that this place has shown me how to be strong when I just felt so weak, and all alone.

I am deeply humbled by some of the hurt that these other members have endured, and they still fight so hard through life, but I guess I would love them all as friends, more than any ordinary friendship could ever accomplish.

I am sorry that I have not posted for so long, but I have had a few problems, and could not get so much on line for months, but here I am.

Abuse, is abuse, is abuse, no matter what time frame or whatever, if it affects your everyday life for years, because of whatever affect it has had on your normal life, it is abuse.

You cannot detach the beautiful boy, who he was meant to be, even though others may find it difficult to understand him now or in the past.

The biggest issue in my life, is family denial of my past, but, I just said to them forget about it, after telling them all the problems I faced, they denied me.

They can forget, but not myself, and if they deny me, then that is their problem, not mine, but at least I gave them a chance.

Hey though Tom, I guess you have a place in heaven, and I hope that I have also,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.