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#227509 - 05/29/08 01:55 AM Poem 16
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2020
Loc: durham, north england
My own dearest twilight you know why I'm writing,
I've heard of your struggle the battles your fighting,
the cumfy old jackboots you pull on each Dawn,
Your rose bladed sword with it's handle of thorn,
It leaves your hands bleeding and shaking with anguish,
but you say it's worth it the giants you vanquish,
I'd do something soothing or send you some balm,
though I'm so afraid it'd do you more harm,
I'll stick to advising sinse letters are easy,
but don't bother reading if you find your too busy,
your time is too precious don't waste it on me,
if you want to burn this then just feel free.


And darkness; asked me to send you his best,
he'll wait on the road to the west,
a cup full of sleep in his fist,
And you'll stil resist.


Your friend sunset told me you'd unearthed a treasure,
Locked it in christal to view at your leasure,
A flower of silver with intricate leaves,
And some scarlet velvet she'd torn from her slleaves,
I'd hoped you'd not squander the thing that you borrowed,
But you already sold it for weapons tomorrow,
a shining new shield that's papery thin,
And a stout steel sword' made of old rusting tin,
but why look for caution you've always been wreckless,
sinse the northwind's revenge froze your tears on your necklace,
You sit on my sofa and feed me your pain,
sinse I always come when you whisper my name.

And daylight; wants the prize back that you stole,
To write of it in his best scroll,
and prove to the world that he's hole,
that he's stil got a soul.

we'll be meeting up soon the usual arrangement,
but I'll not ask Daylight not with your estrangement,
the same place as lasttime where it's always silent,
and no one will mind if discussions get violent,
I'll sit in a corner and not interfere,
Hold on to your treasures and jewelry of tears,
I'll read you advice from the book I am scribing,
feel free to hit me if it's not to your liking,
I won't be offended pain makes good critique,
And I'm so benieth you I've no right to speak,
Not when I'm convicted beyond all denial,
And taken for punishment after my trial.

But shadow, holds up your disguarded sword,
A sharp thing it only just found,
It's longing to tare you a wound,
sinse now it's unbound.

What can I do for you oh Twilight my brother,
You've roads for the walking new things to discover,
to travel your country a king with no palace,
And as I'm being honest I'll say that I'm jealous,
With darkness your servant and Daylight in chains,
you start celibrating uncork the champaign,
Your walking the desert with shoes made of silver,
while shadow finds arrows to add to it's quiver,
But if you are injured you know I'l come running,
I stil care for you though we love the same woman,
You rely on my kindness and I need your strength,
And I suppose that's why we say that we're friends.

And dawning, is someone i watched pass me bye,
sinse you stil need me by your side,
to mop up your truth and your lies,
Sorry for the advice.

Your affectionate litle friend,

Timeless.



Edited by dark empathy (05/29/08 04:06 AM)

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#227513 - 05/29/08 02:22 AM Re: Poem 16 [Re: dark empathy]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2020
Loc: durham, north england
to anyone who knows the Leonard Cohen song Famous blue raincoat, ---- yes I'm afraid I ruthlessly knicked a lot of the structure for this one and had the tune going in my head while writing it, ----- though i stuck in some extra lines I think making the verses 12 lines long instead of eight (though I didn't realize this until I'd already done it).


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#229476 - 06/07/08 10:29 AM Re: Poem 16 [Re: dark empathy]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Luke,

Leonard Cohen is a great songwriter; I'm not surprised you had his tune in mind here. As you went through the seasons I was wondering how you would end and who the narrator would be. Nice!

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#229566 - 06/07/08 08:41 PM Re: Poem 16 [Re: roadrunner]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2020
Loc: durham, north england
Thanks Larry. originally, the narrator was nameless, but timeless seemed to fit better.

some things here were a bit random and just got stuck in at the time because they seemed to go with the general flow, ----- like that old fairy tale about the princess who whated the most beautiful jewels in the world to hang on her necklace, and after trying to climb a tall mountain to capture the stars, burst into tears which then froze.

also the "your affectionate litle friend" I borrowed from a letter one character sent in the railway children. I remember my brother thought it was a really pathetic and demeaning way of signing, and got quite annoyed about it, ----- despite it being just Victorian convention.

Stuff like the jackboots though and the champaign I have no idea where those came from, ---- they just looked write when i finished.

sorry if this sounds pretencious, I was only trying to write a poem about my stupid habbit of being up all night hammering my emotions, ----- and lots of other random stuff seemed to creep in for some reason.



Edited by dark empathy (06/07/08 08:43 PM)

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#229572 - 06/07/08 09:07 PM Re: Poem 16 [Re: dark empathy]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Luke,

Well, I think expression of that randomness is good for us, and in fact it's pretty accurate sometimes. After all, some days our thoughts are all in a jumble and what comes out of our heads will reflect that. Maybe that's why poetry is such a good way for survivors to talk about things. Sometimes all we can come up with is just a string of single words, and yet somehow that can still make not just good sense, but very powerful sense.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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