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#229199 - 06/05/08 11:16 PM No More Psychotherapy for me... at least for now!
Darren Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 120
Loc: The High Seas
I'm not seeing my psychologist anymore, but it is actually a good thing! We agreed that I am making very good progress and am ready to go it alone. We had a good last session and I walked out of her office feeling lighter than I have in such a long time.

I feel like I've come such a long way over the last year and a half in dealing with my feelings relating to my CSA, and in dealing with the associated feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem.

This board has been part of my recovery. I am very grateful to all of you here who have posted words of encouragement for me, and those who have offered their advice and were just there to talk the few times I have gone into the chat rooms.

I really haven't been good about keeping regular tabs on the goings on here. I know if I miss a week or more I'm really out of the loop! But I will be back every now and then, just to keep in touch.

Anyway, I wanted to share this little success of mine with you all.

Thank you for being a part of my recovery!

Cheers!

_________________________
“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates” -Mark Twain

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#229201 - 06/05/08 11:29 PM Re: No More Psychotherapy for me... at least for now! [Re: Darren]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Awesome, Darren! It's a great feeling isn't it? \:\)

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#229205 - 06/05/08 11:46 PM Re: No More Psychotherapy for me... at least for now! [Re: WalkingSouth]
Darren Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 120
Loc: The High Seas
Yes, it's a great feeling John! Thanks! \:\)

_________________________
“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates” -Mark Twain

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#229206 - 06/05/08 11:59 PM Re: No More Psychotherapy for me... at least for now! [Re: Darren]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
Congrats! i recently finished going to my T. Its a great feeling of accomplishment

Chris


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#229207 - 06/06/08 12:01 AM Re: No More Psychotherapy for me... at least for now! [Re: Darren]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6815
Loc: USA
Congrats!!

How wonderful!

How about a few pointers as to what went right - to help the rest of us!!


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#229377 - 06/06/08 09:46 PM Re: No More Psychotherapy for me... at least for now! [Re: pufferfish]
Darren Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 120
Loc: The High Seas
Thanks guys!

I appreciate all your comments. I wanted to provide a little more background, as per your suggestion Pufferfish. So here goes.

As I discussed with my psychologist, I don't really know when it came about, but all of a sudden I realized I haven't been having as many bad days (as a matter of fact, I would be hard-pressed to isolate a specific day in the past few weeks when I felt really down).

What's helped me: Following my psychologist's advice about confronting negative feelings as soon as they arise and putting them to the test, so to say. Putting a lie to the negative feelings. Realizing that most of the time I am feeling down it is because of negative thoughts (for example, I made a mistake at work and I could kick myself all day over it, or just realize I'm only human, I made a mistake, and move on). If you want to read more about how I learned to confront these negative feelings I recommend David Burns' book Ten Days to Self-Esteem. Be forewarned, though, it is a HUGE book (and actually kind of boring) and I didn't get all the way through it (in fact I just got about a third of the way through the exercises) but his exercises combined with my therapist's advice made a real impact. There are so many little insights that my psychologist provided, though, it would be impossible to list them here, and they might not be that helpful, since her insights are based on my unique situation. So I would highly recommend getting a good psychologist to work with.

As for dealing with my CSA, advice from my psychologist to write a letter to my brother (although I never have sent it) telling him how I feel, and advice from these two books: Victims No Longer by Mike Lew and Beyond Betrayal by Richard Gartner, have really helped.
(Victims No Longer is the book I'd recommend, if you read no other book about CSA.)

Posting and chatting with the good people on the Male Survivor website, and trusting my partner with my story are two more things that have helped a great deal..

All of these things combined to help me heal, and now I feel I can go on with my life without my CSA taking center stage. Will I ever confront my brother? I don't know. Am I still mad at him? I can honestly say I'm not. Do I forgive him? I don't think I have. Do I still feel broken inside? Actually, not really. I feel more whole than I ever have. I feel just from getting in touch with my feelings and emotions I can live my life, and enjoy life. The worry and fear has been lifted from me.

So, in summary it is many things working together that has helped me to heal from my CSA and deal with my negative thoughts and feelings. If you broke it down in percentages it might go like this: This site helped out 20%, sharing with my partner 20%, working with my psychologist 30%, reading the books 30%; but breaking down by percentages may not be that accurate or helpful. I think the really important thing is to remember that recovery is very individual, what works for some may or may not work for others; but I really believe you have the power to confront your emotions and reactions; you don't have to let your CSA control your life. At the same time it's hard work. It's the hardest, most gut-wrenching, soul-searching work I've ever done. But I think if I hadn't worked so hard, I wouldn't have achieved the results I have.

Remember there are good people out there that can help you. Recovery is possible, if not complete recovery, at least partial recovery and that's better than none at all. And what you get out of something is directly proportional to the amount of effort you put into it.

Well, this was a much longer post than I ever intended, but I wanted to share more in case someone might get something out of it. I hope someone does.

Cheers

_________________________
“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates” -Mark Twain

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