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#226793 - 05/26/08 11:24 AM Love your neighbor ....
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
We know the verse. "Love your neighbor as yourself". This implies that we must love ourselves first - otherwise how can we love another as ourself?

In the walk of trying to take care of myself, and fighting the "demons" of my past - I end up triggering someone else. Someone who means a lot to me. And now that person is hurting, feeling betrayed/rejected - and it's my fault. Can't blame anyone else - it was my own stupidity that caused it all. And I can't get close enough to even try to figure out how to "make it right" ... if I even should.

So the question becomes - when one has to make a choice between caring for yourself - your own recovery - your own health and wellbeing - and the safety/triggering of a "neighbor" - what choice is made? All of my upbringing in "the church" would say sacrifice myself for my friend. I know I'd feel a LOT less guilty if I had done that instead of trying to guard myself against an unseen opponent.

Then what IS correct? At what point does my own safety surpass that of a "neighbor" (friend)? Or does it?? And how do I resolve the conflict that I've created because of trying to deal with my own crap? Or do I even worry about it?

I could really use some insight right about now.

Mark



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#226796 - 05/26/08 11:35 AM Re: Love your neighbor .... [Re: MarkK]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
I think there can be a healthy middle ground, but ultimately I think you have to worry about yourself first. Maybe you can just get sure footing with ONE foot then reach down for the others. Maybe we don't need both feet steady to try and help other people.

I've found helping others actually helps ME too, though. \:\)

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#226933 - 05/26/08 07:59 PM Re: Love your neighbor .... [Re: AndyJB2005]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Mark,

You're absolutely correct when you read that as needing to "love" yourself first before you can "love" anyone else. More often than not well meaning or even not so well meaning people taught us in Sunday School that we should consider ourselves of no value alongside the value and worth of another but that flies directly in the face of Christ's words you quoted to "Love thy neighbor as yourself".

As to how that applies to the situation you find yourself in, I cannot say for sure because I know too little about it, but I'd say that in general drawing a healthy boundary of some kind that looks out for your needs can never be wrong. Hope it helps.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#226934 - 05/26/08 08:01 PM Re: Love your neighbor .... [Re: AndyJB2005]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
I know that feeling Mark. I usually sacrifice myself. Apologize for what ever and do what ever it takes to make it right. I end up feeling a lot better about myself when the breach is healed.


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#227048 - 05/27/08 09:47 AM Re: Love your neighbor .... [Re: Freedom49]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2572
Loving neighbors can be hard.... There's a "neighbor" whose house I passed on the way to work that I was seriously tempted to go and burn the flag he had flying..... He was flying the old German swastika..... Talk about flaring anger.... I know we have freedom of speech here, but I think that is just flat out WRONG!

But I was a good "neighbor" and didn't burn his flag.


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#227510 - 05/29/08 02:09 AM Re: Love your neighbor .... [Re: JustScott]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
I have the,I suppose, eastern philosophy interpretation myself; love your neighbor as yourself because your neighbor actually is you. But neither interpretation seems to me to imply that you should necessarily put either yourself or your neighbor first.

So the two (neighbor and self) being equal, the question might then be who you can help the most.

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#228187 - 05/31/08 07:32 PM Re: Love your neighbor .... [Re: blueshift]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Originally Posted By: blueshift
So the two (neighbor and self) being equal, the question might then be who you can help the most.

since i can help no one, then that must release me from loving either one.

i can live with that.


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