You are facing a really tough issue.
CSA affects development like an atom bomb affects a landscape. It affects all functioning. Some scientists are even speculating it can weaken the immune system. So take it easy on yourself.
As far as the things you feel you 'own', once you take responsibility for something, there's no need to repeat the self rebuke, right?
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003