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#226704 - 05/26/08 12:27 AM I had a nightmare
Thomson Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/12/06
Posts: 30
Hi MS members,

Yesternight, I had a nightmare of the abuse. This nightmare isn't in itself alarming as it occurs to me sporadically. But the alarming thing was the guilt that i felt after that nightmare. It means that inspite of my efforts the guilt is deeply engraved in my subconscious.

Whats your take on this?

_________________________
There is enough light for one to see the truth.

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#226707 - 05/26/08 12:51 AM Re: I had a nightmare [Re: Thomson]
hogan_dawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
Perhaps the guilt is deep in your mind, sure. Maybe you've nailed it.

I find the guilt feeling interesting. What was the guilt about - or what's your best guess or feeling? Was it guilt about feeling pleasure, or guilt about feeling rage, or doing something taboo? Or what's that about in your view?



Edited by hogan_dawg (05/26/08 12:58 AM)
_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

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#226711 - 05/26/08 01:27 AM Re: I had a nightmare [Re: hogan_dawg]
Thomson Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/12/06
Posts: 30
I cannot explain it. Although I know that I felt immensely guilty, but i couldn't pinpoint what was it about.

My best guess would be that it was because of my silence in the face of adversity.

_________________________
There is enough light for one to see the truth.

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#226737 - 05/26/08 07:53 AM Re: I had a nightmare [Re: Thomson]
hogan_dawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
Right, ok.

I was silent about it because I was threatened in a severe way. Plus, he was my Dad.

Perpetrators often want our silence and have methods to ensure we are silent.

Were you threatened, or how come you were silent? Or did you just not know what else to do?

I remember I used to have nightmares where I was immobilized, maybe with fear, and silent too - couldn't make my muscles move to speak.



Edited by hogan_dawg (05/26/08 07:56 AM)
_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

Top
#227504 - 05/29/08 12:47 AM Re: I had a nightmare [Re: hogan_dawg]
Thomson Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/12/06
Posts: 30
I wasn't threatened as such.
You can read my story here:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...=true#Post56415

If you can't, I'll tell you that it was because of my father that I remained silent. He was a very strict man. In my story I have told an incident where he beat the shit out of me for nothing that I did, without investigating. I was afraid that if I told him he would beat me to death. I felt guilty because I was silent and whatever happened seemed to me so wrong.

It's the betrayal that kills you from inside.

_________________________
There is enough light for one to see the truth.

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