Can I ask a few questions?
Does the girl know about your CSA?
Have you shared you anxiety with her about your sexual contact?
(Just some thoughts about this... If I'm not understanding, forgive me.)
Keep in mind that if the two of you have only had sexual contact twice in 9 months, she is probably wondering why you are not attracted to her. This can create a feeling of "he's only doing this because he thinks he has to." (aka pity sex) It then becomes a problem for both of you. Both of you are thinking about performance, you just trying to function, and her trying to be good enough that you will come back for more.
The mind does play major tricks, and strangely enough, she probably thinks something is wrong with her. One of the most important things about sexual interaction is the open and honest conversation. I hope you will try and work through all this. Talk it out with her, see if that will help. Once you are both on the same page, I will bet you anxiety will decrease.
Just a few thoughts.
P.S. Yes you are a part of an amazing community, and you are not alone.
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....
Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.
Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007