You're absolutely correct when you read that as needing to "love" yourself first before you can "love" anyone else. More often than not well meaning or even not so well meaning people taught us in Sunday School that we should consider ourselves of no value alongside the value and worth of another but that flies directly in the face of Christ's words you quoted to "Love thy neighbor as yourself".
As to how that applies to the situation you find yourself in, I cannot say for sure because I know too little about it, but I'd say that in general drawing a healthy boundary of some kind that looks out for your needs can never be wrong. Hope it helps.
Lots of love,
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson