Speaking only for myself, I've not seen or felt any of those emotions or hostility you talk of, but if forgiveness is what you need, then sure, you absolutely have it. You do raise an interesting subject and that is that you have been feeling that anger and hostility perhaps.
Anger is not a bad thing. In fact I'd say it's a very legitimate emotion. I guess the rub comes with how we direct or channel that emotion and I'd guess that is the thing that is bothering you. If I were to make a suggestion I'd propose that you rely on one of your close friends here to be an accountability partner of sorts with you. Ask him to give you feedback on how you're doing. Have him hold the mirror of for you to see how you may be coming across to others and ask him for practical advise on how to handle it when maybe it isn't going as well as you'd like.
Thanks for being willing to be vulnerable enough to talk about it.
Lots of love,
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson