I just wanted to apologize to all my friends and brothers here at MS whom I've showed anger and hostility towards. I've been depressed and emotionally weak the past few weeks but that is no excuse. I'm trying to control my angry feelings and look at it from where it comes from and get to the root of the problem. I hope that will make me more centered.

My beliefs say that we're responsible for our own emotions, good and bad, and I certainly know I have been responsible for my anger and frustration. I'm sorry.

I'm not sure exactly who I'm addressing this to, but I wanted to apologize for my part in the negative vibes on the board.

Please forgive me.

Andy,

Speaking only for myself, I've not seen or felt any of those emotions or hostility you talk of, but if forgiveness is what you need, then sure, you absolutely have it. You do raise an interesting subject and that is that you have been feeling that anger and hostility perhaps.

Anger is not a bad thing. In fact I'd say it's a very legitimate emotion. I guess the rub comes with how we direct or channel that emotion and I'd guess that is the thing that is bothering you. If I were to make a suggestion I'd propose that you rely on one of your close friends here to be an accountability partner of sorts with you. Ask him to give you feedback on how you're doing. Have him hold the mirror of for you to see how you may be coming across to others and ask him for practical advise on how to handle it when maybe it isn't going as well as you'd like.

Thanks for being willing to be vulnerable enough to talk about it.

Lots of love,

John

Hi Andy,

John gave some really good advice there in his post. And I liked what you said about "My beliefs say that we're responsible for our own emotions, good and bad" -- that's a very astute observation, Andy, and a very healing one because it says that no matter what was done to us, it is now up to us to fix it. I've seen a LOT of growth in you since you've been here Andy, and this is just more of it. Now...take a bow, please.

Andy,
I have not seen anger from you although there has been some negativity on the boards lately and most of us are hypersensitive to this. I know I am and by your post I guess you may be too. Its hard to convey feelings over the internet especially when we see negative things. My T told me that if there was something I was not clear on as far as an email or post goes then ask what the person means because I could take it all the wrong way and something that might look negative to me may actually be the opposite. I know I have a hard time expressing and identifying feelings and trying to get that into words can be a struggle.
Hang in there this will pass I hope.