I am not sure totally what you ask. But I will say, we can not change anyone in our lives, no matter what we want to do, or what would be preferable. It is up to the other person to make those massive changes, and they normally won't and can't do it just because we want them to. I guess perhaps the best thing would be to decide how importent this relationship is to you if he doesn't change, since it is looking like he isn't going to. You have already told him how it makes you feel that he drink around you, and he still do it. He is not treating you with any respect, and it seem very much that he is not ready to change. So perhaps, it would be best for you to start distancing from him, and accepting the idea that this father-son relationship perhaps won't happen. I am sorry, but as I say, you can not make it change, since you can not change him.