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#225759 - 05/22/08 11:15 AM changing T's tomorrow.
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1996
Loc: durham, north england
Sorry about another random topic, I just wondered if anyone might have some thoughts on this.

Thus far, my parents have been paying for my T, ---- which obviously isn't good. at a friend's suggestion, I investigated the university's own counceling service, who said they would give me a slot when they had space. A slot's come up, ----- tomorrow morning. this is good, sinse it's free counceling which i get as a uni student.

the only thing is, I'm mildly nervous. It's taken me a good few weeks to get to an understanding with my T and just as I feel we're getting somewhere, i have to change.

i understand why, and opbviously it's a good idea, and I'm even asking my old T to send my notes over to the uni counceling service, ---- bbut stil I'm not exactly happy about it.

I'm thinking that at least it's come on one of my good weeks, which helps.

Is there any advice about how I get along with this new bloke? for people who've tried out many T's, is there any way I can start things being useful?

I know he'll begin with an assessment, which won't be fun, sinse I stil find discussing my abuse hard.

any thoughts?


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#225769 - 05/22/08 11:52 AM Re: changing T's tomorrow. [Re: dark empathy]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Luke,
I would suggest copying some of your posts here on the site and taking them for him to read. You have been very open and honest here and after he reads a couple of your early posts it will give you a good starting place and take some of the pressure off of you to verbalize it all over again. I have had to change T and I hated it because it meant going back over the horrible thing all over again. I found though that retelling became easier each time and less traumatic. Fewer tears, not as much lump in the throat and tightness of the chest. No blacking out or dissociation. So what they say here at the site about telling your story over again is true. It loses power over you each time you do that. Good luck this sounds like it could be good.


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#225815 - 05/22/08 03:47 PM Re: changing T's tomorrow. [Re: Freedom49]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1996
Loc: durham, north england
thanks Roger, good idea. I don't have a working printer at the moment, but I can certainly attach things to an E-mail tomorrow morning, ---- another definite advantage of the ms system I think.

Speaking of advantages, one good thing is that not only will this mean my T is now in walking distance (which saves me a taxi), but also is in walking distance of the uba nice cake shop of doom, ----- which imho is a deffinite pluss, especially as I'm about to run out of %85 coco chocolate, ;D.


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#225844 - 05/22/08 06:03 PM Re: changing T's tomorrow. [Re: dark empathy]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I take my posts from here to my T, it has helped with my recover and lets her see what I have been dealing with. There is so much more I get from here that I can't seem to get in therapy. I think even though she is a great therapist she can't compete with such a vast resource as this site. It's helped me find the answers to questions I didn't even know I had.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#225962 - 05/23/08 07:52 AM Re: changing T's tomorrow. [Re: GateKPR4]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1996
Loc: durham, north england
Amen to that.

I've seen the bloke, and it was okay, accept slightly irritating to have to go from the start and have him unfamiliar with me, which made me short with him, which made me guilty, which ended with us discussing why i was guilty, ----- not ideal but it's a begining.

I know things will improve though, it's just such a pain sinse I'd much rather discuss what happened on tuesday with **** and find ways of building on that than have to try and do all the groundwork with someone else.

but it needs to be done, and showing him my posts etc is probably a good way of starting.


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#225968 - 05/23/08 09:04 AM Re: changing T's tomorrow. [Re: Freedom49]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6872
Loc: USA
Yes

This is an excellent idea. Take him (her) some posts!

Every session I have with my T I take a summary of what I have done the week before, including my moods and any problems I've been having.

This actually saves time and money because they can figure out what's going on. They are professionals (hopefully) and can "take" this information and get a snapshot of where you are in life. You are doing yourself a favor if you can tell them as much as possible. Holding back info. from a T is not self serving.

For a new T, take a list of previous therapists and why you didn't like them or why they didn't meet your needs. This will also give them a head start in figuring out your needs. Sometimes I felt reluctant to tell a new T this information. I thought that the T might get biased info from previous therapists. But in retrospect this was just a fear on my part and not a valid one.


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