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#210455 - 03/13/08 07:54 AM Re: Help and Input for my wife! [Re: Trish4850]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2582
I'm figuring I should probably just leave well enough alone. All I got for my attempts was a pissed off, irritable wife.


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#219507 - 04/21/08 02:31 PM Re: Help and Input for my wife! [Re: JustScott]
Rohdeo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/11/07
Posts: 10
Loc: Australia
I find the same thing JustScott

You're definitely not alone on this one

Cheers


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#219596 - 04/21/08 11:10 PM Re: Help and Input for my wife! [Re: Rohdeo]
rchsweetie Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/06/08
Posts: 23
JustScott, I want to applaud you for caring so much about your wife and what she's going through at this time, and for wanting so much to make it all better. That is so impressive and brave. And I think it says something about how far along in your recovery you've come. I'm confident that together you and your wife will find the right solution for you both.
I don't have any good advice for you, but reading your post that is so full of care and love, made me jealous! I wish my CSA survivor was in a place where he could say the same sorts of things that you can.


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#224251 - 05/14/08 07:12 PM Re: Help and Input for my wife! [Re: Trish4850]
Marissa Offline


Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 67
Library - Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie

Also - The Language of Letting Go - same author.

I like the second one best - it's a dated/daily read kind of thing - learning to take care of ourselves instead of everyone else and letting everyone else be responsible for their own shit.

I hope she'll come here sometime - even if she just lurks for awhile, maybe she could see that she, and we, are not alone in our struggles and experiences with you guys that we love.

Marissa


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#225753 - 05/22/08 10:40 AM Re: Help and Input for my wife! [Re: Trish4850]
mara Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/01/08
Posts: 18
How about ASKING HER what she would like? And really listening to her answers, rather than TELLING HER she needs to come to this website?
Maybe she needs to talk and be heard without judgment. Maybe she needs to count on you for this for a very long time, weeks or months or years. Maybe she's tired of holding her anger and sadness in. Maybe the fact that you give up so quickly on her when she shows her negative emotions makes her feel like you don't really mean it. "I'll love you forever, honey, as long as you put up with all of my negative emotions and never display any of your own."


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