JustScott, I want to applaud you for caring so much about your wife and what she's going through at this time, and for wanting so much to make it all better. That is so impressive and brave. And I think it says something about how far along in your recovery you've come. I'm confident that together you and your wife will find the right solution for you both.
I don't have any good advice for you, but reading your post that is so full of care and love, made me jealous! I wish my CSA survivor was in a place where he could say the same sorts of things that you can.