Well I thought I should end the loop on this. Here's the letter I sent tonight to my folks. After praying about this a lot, I settled on this approach suggested by a good friend.
I hope for the best with this, but I'm not convinced it will be received with anything but anger.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Itís taken me some time to respond to you. My hope is to respond from a position of love and not anger.
I can only begin to imagine how difficult it is for you to be confronted with an impossible choice. If you accept Ben's version of our childhood events, then you must believe that I am malevolent and untruthful. If you accept my version of the truth, you would have to believe things of Ben that are even worse.
Now, I am not asking you to take sides or choose between Ben and me. Rather I ask you to suspend judgment and open yourselves to the possibility of an independent relationship with each of us, understanding that at this point in time, Ben and I cannot have a shared relationship with you.
In your letter, you reiterated an expression of unconditional love for me. I want you to know that I love the two of you unconditionally, as well.
I care about you and your health and wellbeing and do not wish to be out of communication and contact with you. This last year has been difficult for all of us, but I am committed to working with you toward reconciliation and I hope and pray that both of you will agree to do the same.
*** WOR Alumni Sequoia March 2008 ***
*** Alta Advanced Weekend September 2008 ***
Ask me about both!