I know the next conference will be held at the John Jay school in NYC again, but do we have dates yet? Many of us have to plan at least a year ahead for such things, so information on this would be helpful. Thanks.

What is the conference? I seen some post refering to it.

Gregg

Gregg,

Every two years MS holds a conference, and as of last year we have a permanent venue at the John Jay School of Criminal Law in NYC. The conference lasts about 3 days and features talks, workshops, lectures, and presentations on all matters relating to male survivors. You register and then sign up for the things you want to participate in.

Last year I went to the conference and it was a fantastic experience. I participated in Mike Lew's workshop just before the conference and that was an amazing experience for me. I attended talks and workshops and learned a lot. I also met many other survivors and made many new friends. There was a performance of Marty Moran's play The Tricky Part, and that was great too.

You may feel a bit strange at first, seeing other survivors for the first time, and if you get to feeling really uncomfortable there's a Safe Room where you can go to calm down and talk to a counselor if you need to. But you will also see guys from the site there and I know you'll find a lot of support and encouragement. If it's at all possible for you to go I would definitely do it.

Much love,
Larry

Larry

Sounds like it would be good. I have never been to NYC so that would be fun too. I will wait for the dates.

Thanks
Gregg

I'm glad the conference will be held in NYC again and this time I WILL BE THERE!

nothing and no one will stop me from attending!!!

Logan

How 'international' is it if it is permanently in New York?

andrei

Good call AK. ;-)

Maybe we should look to hold one in Moscow! I'd love to get back there for another visit. Last time I was there was 94.

*lol* good point Andrei. Having been there, I can tell you that the attendees and speakers were from all nations. It was pretty incredible!

ROCK ON..........Trish

The idea is that participation is from everywhere, Andrei. The venue is NYC because the John Jay School of Criminal Law supports us there and gives us rooms where we can meet. It's pretty good overall, and the conference itself is great. I am still processing some of the things I learned last fall.

Much love,
Larry

I am sorry for my misunderstanding of it. Embarassment complete.

andrei

No need to be embarrassed Andrei. You asked a perfectly logical question, there just happened to be two answers.

It must be really hard to go and be with everyone who knows your a survivor, just because of the amount of people who would be there, it must be really emotional seeing how many people have been hurt and knowing their pain. I can't imagine what it would be like, how would you know who is from the site and who is not, just if you recognise their names or faces is it? how many people would be there? what kind of ages of people are there, are they all old?

Lewis,

I can give you a few ideas from my own experience last fall:

Yes, it's an emotional experience to walk in thinking that everyone knows you are a survivor. There are also therapists and others there, but sure, it's mainly survivors. I met a lot of guys from the site there, and it was okay - I didn't feel troubled by that. Mainly I felt a real sense of brotherhood and connection with the guys. In some cases things clicked right away and I made friends who are still very important to me.

I think at the last conference there were about 400-500 people, and it was a great conference. There was so much to do and I was busy and active all the time.

On ages, yes, if you go you will find that most are older than you are, but there were indeed quite a few young survivors there. The minimum age is 18, I think, although if a minor came with his parents that would be okay. I saw young guys your age all the time, and one absolutely cool case was a high-school senior who came with two friends (non-survivors) for support. They were with him all the time, and I remember one time, during the performance of a play, he got emotional and began to cry. His friends just closed around him, supported him, and let him let it out. I had some emotional moments too. It was a powerful and very positive experience, and I think that was good for me.

Much love,
Larry

It's a shame there are none in Britain, but i guess it is understandable because there are more people and more opportunity for something like this in America. Actually, you didn't say, are there any in Britain?

I don't know of any conferences in the UK, Lewis. But I know that from time to time Mike Lew convenes retreats here. I'll look for his website and post it for you. He's a powerful and compassionate group leader and I learned a lot from him at his workshop in NYC. I walked into this room with 27 guys in it and I thought "Oh fuck, what have I done!!!!" But he gradually put everyone at ease and I think all of us are still in touch with each other. It's like a little community of 27 guys talking about news, our little victories, setbacks, etc.

Lewis, I have attended Mike Lew's workshop last year in Bangore, PA. I would highly recommend it, especially for someone like you who has been dealing and talking about this shit for some time. You can read more here: http://www.nextstepcounseling.org/upcomingevents2.htm

It looks like he's sponsoring a retreat early next year in Norway, that's only a 4 hour flight for you Brits, maybe check it out?

Here's the link for his site. There's nothing listed for 2009 in the UK in his directory of forthcoming events, but I'll ask him if he has any plans that aren't on his site yet and let you know. But hey, up for a trip to Norway? He has a conference in Oslo coming up in January.

Thanks for your responses Hauser and Larry, i will check them both out now, but Larry, i hardly made it to Oxford alive, really think i could make it all the way to Norway? i've done the trains now (very confusing lol), but planes? i don't know, i hear they are just as difficult

they are the same site lol, great minds think alike

and thanks Larry if you ask him that would be great

Lewis,

I checked on this and then forgot to post about it. Mike told me he would be willing to do something in the UK before or after his conference in Oslo in January, but so far no one has taken any steps to organize it.

Much love,
Larry

thanks Larry,

i'd be interested to see if anything comes about

Lewis

Hmmm.... So then the question becomes, how can we get Andrei to the event? Remember, we want international participation!!

Hi Lewis

Not sure if you seen the post I left about our weekend retreats, but we also put on a weekend retreat here in the UK, (Wiltshire) and next summer will be our fourth annual weekend retreat

Mike (Lew) has been to the UK several times and done the weekends here and in in the north of the country, but for the past two years, I have taken over the facilitating of the weekend.

I also have the honour and privilege of calling Mike Lew a real good friend and ally in healing

You would be more than welcome to come join us if that would be of help

Stay safe

I am really insterested in finding out more about these confrences for my husband. I havn't been to the site in a little while, but it just seems my husband is having such a hard time right now.

Things are really shakey with our marriage...today we went and spoke with his theripist about kind of what has been going on.

Everything always seems to stem from his abuse. He brought up trying to find or create a support group.

It just seems like we have been going in circles on an endless rollercoaster ride together. I wish he would visit malesurvivor, but he doesn't do computers so this isn't and option for him.

But I am going to bring up these confrences. I know it would grab his attention, I know he is getting more and more desperate for anything right now. He wants control of his life.