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#22451 - 05/21/03 09:24 PM Repressed memory
MEC Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/03
Posts: 62
Loc: NJ
How can I know it is what I believe it is? My revelation came when I was laying in bed after having come to know my life was more of a mess than physical and emotional abuse would have it.

I wanted to know, and it materialized very clearly; I only remembering laying between my parents in their bed when I was pre-school age. Then my father entered the memory and he was showing me on me how to pull it and then doing it to him. And out of nowhere I vividly heard my mother call me a little girl. I wasn't even thinking in her direction in the thing.

Is this how repressed memories surface? I have to think there is authenticity to my visualization because I am a very different person than before the memory, and the change has been dramatic.

Does any one have ways they use to free the memories?

Michael

_________________________
Michael

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#22452 - 05/21/03 09:33 PM Re: Repressed memory
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
I wonder about this too. How do I really know? I only started remembering what my stepdad did to me since he died last summer. I can't know for sure if everything I remember is true.

I know the earlier abuse is true only because I saw evidence of it. I still sort of remembered it but in a hazy way, and I was in denial, until I found a video tape in our garage. It was one of the ones my mom made of me and all the memories came back. I know they're true because the tape was there and my mother doesn't deny what she did to me. At least I have proof of that. I don't have proof of what my stepdad did to me...

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

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#22453 - 05/21/03 10:16 PM Re: Repressed memory
MEC Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/03
Posts: 62
Loc: NJ
Hi Josh,
Nice to have the video, ONLY to KNOW. All you need is the earlier evidence, the rest... well, that's gravy. For me anyway, it's the thread of uncertainty. But, I have every indication to believe in what I feel has been uncovered, to be so, because it just ties all the loose screwed-up ends of my life together in an explanation.

It also goes a long way in explaining the brutal beatings I received from my father from his own guilt, and the emotional abuse I received from my mother. I believed I was no good because it was beaten and drummed into me repeatedly. Seems to me, I remember a point in my young life when I expected a beating because two weeks had past without one. Many of them [beatings] are buried, but I do remember more than one and his rejection of me by never taking part in what I was doing, i.e., little league, scouts, etc.

Michael

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Michael

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#22454 - 05/21/03 10:22 PM Re: Repressed memory
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
How does it happen? Therapy, reading, working on other issues, accidents, just life. Not trying to force anything. Maybe when I'm ready for it. Different memories have come in different ways.

All I know is to trust my memories, whether in my mind, my body, my senses, my inner voice, whatever

Thots like these we don't want & they don't just pop up out of nowhere.

Enuf denial & listening to the lies & coverups of our perps and others, not trusting ourselves.

Trust your feelings. Trust your memories. Trust yourselves.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#22455 - 05/21/03 11:15 PM Re: Repressed memory
midwest Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/15/03
Posts: 1
I wish I had advice on how to help memories resurface. If I did, I'd be a whole lot better myself! ;\) Although, a way mine come to me is right before falling asleep, when you're in that half daze, let your mind wander. Sometimes it works, and most of the times it doesn't. When it does, I see flashes and pictures and sometimes smell a memory. (For example, a perfume or cologne.) But, I'm trying not to force anything either. Good luck! \:\)


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#22456 - 05/22/03 05:05 PM Re: Repressed memory
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
My memories have always been with me, but they have been sharpened considerably.

At the strangest times a bit of detail will return, and I'm sure it's nothing I've 'created' , so I can't see why whole memories can't come back to us.

But there are proven cases of False Memory Syndrome, although that seems to mostly when a bad therapist or psychologist 'suggests' something. But I'm no expert in that !

I tend to trust my additions to my memories, and if someone is affected by their new memories then they should act on them as if they were proven.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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