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#22420 - 11/24/02 08:50 AM NEW FORUM OPEN FOR MEMBERS WHO ARE "AT RISK" SURVIVORS!!!
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
THIS IS A FORUM FOR MEMBERS OF MS WHO CONSIDER THEMSELVES AT RISK SURVIVORS AS DESCRIBED BELOW:

I'll let the statement contained in the forum entrance speak for itself:

"MEMBERS (At risk survivors)
This forum is for survivors who have done inappropriate, harmful, or abusive behavior to others in their childhood or adolescence, or have acted out sexually through certain sexual behaviors, such as compulsive masturbation, promiscuous consensual relationships, internet pornography, book store acting out, etc. We intend to provide a safe place to explore the underlying causes and find resources and alternatives to these behaviors, as well as better understand how childhood abuse has affected our sense of sexuality and sexual behaviors. It will provide a place to talk about what you may have done as a child or teen in reaction to your sexual abuse.

For those who have acted out sexually in adulthood or are struggling with feelings or thoughts about sexually acting out with children or with vulnerable adolescents or adults (behaviors that would be considered illegal), we urge you to check out Stop It Now! [a site, to which these words link, that is working with us] where a trained professional can talk with you confidentially about your circumstances and discuss your options, possible resources, and next steps for you so that you and everyone in your life can live safely."

Yes, this forum is in the members area and is for members only. But believe me if you need a safe place to talk about only the kinds of struggles mentioned above (and what goes into this forum stays there!), without concerns of triggering others in this public or in any other forum, then this forum alone is worth you membership fee or whatever sweat equity you can put into MS!

I want to thank our MS leadership, especially Fred and Ken Singer; believe me I know all the hard work that went into putting this forum together as a place that would be safe enuf yet open enuf. I know it will be very much of both.

Now, I'm speaking as someone who has done this myself, as have many of us. But I want to encourage all of us, before we share these kinds of struggles here on the public boards (or in any other forum), to please consider the possible cost or risk of so doing, as compared to the much lesser cost (and what risk?) of joining MS. If you haven't already. And trust me on this one, there are lots of ways to become a member, and it will not be nearly as costly as you might think!

Finally, if you decide you need to share about these struggles here on the public forum, please be full on caution & light on details as you can; please realize & be willing to accept the risks; please consider the effects on your fellow survivors; please always use a "trigger warning" something like this:

*****WARNING: ACTING OUT BEHAVIORS, LUSTS, SEXUAL FANTASIES*****MAY TRIGGER!*****

Also consider the use of careful PMs with people you can trust & whom you are pretty sure won't be triggered; if you're not sure you could ask them before sharing much.

Fellow survivors, our goal is a safe site, with a number of forums that are as safe as possible for different people with different concerns at any given time in recovery, in moving from victim to survivor to thriving. This particular [i]members forum for at risk survivors [i] can be an important part of this.

I wish for all of us the best in this recovery!

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#22421 - 11/25/02 09:33 AM Re: NEW FORUM OPEN FOR MEMBERS WHO ARE "AT RISK" SURVIVORS!!!
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Scotty:

I think a lot of people will be encouraged by the new forum, and it's already receiving a lot of use. This is proving to be a great place to vent & get out our thots & feelings about acting out before we act out. Or afterward, if we need to.

Thank you , Scotty. Take Care.

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#22422 - 11/25/02 01:39 PM Re: NEW FORUM OPEN FOR MEMBERS WHO ARE "AT RISK" SURVIVORS!!!
bec Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/02
Posts: 187
Loc: chicagoland area
dear Wuamei and malesurvivor.org:

i with to join this site through a sweat equity membership and have sent 3 emails requesting just that. i am currently not working but need the support this site can provide. so, i continue waiting for a reply. i hope to hear from someone soon. thanks,

bec


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#22423 - 11/25/02 04:10 PM Re: NEW FORUM OPEN FOR MEMBERS WHO ARE "AT RISK" SURVIVORS!!!
MS Admin Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/21/02
Posts: 382
Received your email re: sweat equity. Forwarded to appropriate parties. You will hear back from us. \:\)

F

_________________________
The Team at MaleSurvivor

Please read the faq's for answers to the most commonly asked questions.

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#22424 - 11/25/02 09:58 PM Re: NEW FORUM OPEN FOR MEMBERS WHO ARE "AT RISK" SURVIVORS!!!
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Thanks Fred.

Bec, hang in there. It'll be worth it.

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#22425 - 11/26/02 02:45 AM Re: NEW FORUM OPEN FOR MEMBERS WHO ARE "AT RISK" SURVIVORS!!!
Roy Offline
Member

Registered: 08/02/02
Posts: 184
Loc: Los Angeles
I can see the value of this new forum but who decides what goes there? It seems clear that it might be a good place to explore concerns one might have about their thoughts of abusing children, acting out inappropriately, etc. Many of us here seem to think "The Dean"'s post would have been better suited to such a forum. However, without intending to be argumentative, I respectfully disagree. The Dean never expressed anything about his being at risk for abusing children or even acting out in any way at all. All he said was that he found guys in their late teens and early twenties attractive and that he had sexual fantasies about them. His primary concern was his own negative internal dialogue about such thoughts. He wondered if anyone else struggled with such things. He was looking for comradeship and solace from his fellow survivors, nothing more. There was no way anyone could infer from his post that The Dean intended to act on his fantasies in any way shape or form, so why would he take his concern to a place for potential perpetrators? Neither this new "At Risk" forum or "Stop It Now" site would have been appropriate for our dear friend. This is the place for such discussions, right here at "home", amongst trusted men. All he needed was a little validation and reassurance that he is not a wacked out pervo. And look what happened! Blammo! Oof! Thud! Simmer down everybody, geez louise. Can't we all just get along?


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