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#224056 - 05/13/08 12:33 PM .
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
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Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 04:37 PM)

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#224064 - 05/13/08 12:57 PM Re: What does it take be a man? [Re: bardo213]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2578
Fantastic! Love it!

Ok, so here it goes:

I'll start with what I'm not and how I feel those concepts and ideas don't really define manhood.

I'm not big and tough. I'm not macho. I'm not athletic. I don't follow sports with any regularity. I'm not a handyman, I don't get into cars and mechanics. I'm not big into hunting (although I do have a rifle and have been hunting a few times). Those things, while typically used to define a man, I think are things that men get into due to mindset and thought process and what not, but don't "make" you a man. I think it's more a case of, you are a man, so you "may" be into those things. Course I know a large number of women into those things and know just about as many who do them even better than most men I know.

Here's what I am. I'm quiet. Typically gentle. Sensitive. Emotional. Caring. Compassionate. I love music. I love just enjoying nature. I love beauty, and I'm meaning nature kind of beauty, although I see more than a little beauty in the human form, both male and female. I love reading. I love feeling close to people, even though it scares me to death sometimes.

I think, all things aside, I'm a good man. Hard for me to say, but I think it's the truth of it. I think one of the biggest things I've learned, is that a man can love. I mean really love, not the sexual kind of love mind you, but one of genuine compassion for fellow humans. I don't think being sexual makes you a man anymore than being sexual makes a woman, a woman. I think humans are sexual, regardless of gender.

I think men carry a certain strength within them. Women can be strong as well, but I think this is something different. Something that is truly male. The power to keep going despite fears, yet it goes beyond that. I'm not sure it's truly possible to put into words.

What do I love about myself? I love my feelings. I love being able to feel. Even in those deep dark places, I can still feel my emotions, and although it hurts at times, it still has a good feeling to it. Like that need to have a good cry now and again. You cry because you're hurting, yet at the same time, it feels good to get it out, to have that release. I love my gentle nature, yet when I'm angry, look out, I could break something! I love that too, because that same anger doesn't have to be destructive. Properly channeled it can drive me to great things. To protect others. To improve myself. To accomplish something that I just don't have the motivation to do any other time.

Right now I can definitely say, without fears and doubts in my mind, that right now, I like me.


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#224067 - 05/13/08 01:07 PM . [Re: JustScott]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
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Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 04:37 PM)

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#224078 - 05/13/08 03:06 PM Re: What does it take be a man? [Re: bardo213]
VLinvictus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 273
Loc: NY
This is a good and thought provoking question.

My initial, flippant answer as to what it takes to be a man is "A Y-chromosome."

I have a lot of opinions about what it takes to be a human, but I have a extremely hard time conceiving that "being a man" means anything more than having a penis and testicles and possessing on average a stronger upper body, more body hair, and a deeper voice than human beings possessing two X-chromosomes (AKA "women").

Perhaps it's my distaste of imposed gender roles. I believe every human being has the right to become whoever he or she wants to be and live his or her life as he or she chooses. I think each human being has the right to be the kind of person he or she wants to be, without having to be bound by some artificial social conceptions of what being a "man" or a "woman" mean.

There's the basic physical differences. As a man, I will never give birth but I will also never menstruate. But beyond that, I don't believe male and female human beings are all that different and I don't think anyone should have gender roles and expectations imposed upon him or her.

The possibly more problematic aspect for me is that the words "being a man" and "manly" and "manliness" have an inseparable sexual connection in my mind. I enjoy having a penis and I'm glad that I do not have a vagina. I enjoy being ready for sex at a moment's notice and I being the pentrating partner in sexual intercourse. "Being a man" conjures up for me ideas of virility, power, force, even domination -- and that scares me just a bit.

This needs more thought.

_________________________
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
~ Oscar Wilde

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#224085 - 05/13/08 03:49 PM Re: What does it take be a man? [Re: VLinvictus]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Being a man?, good question considering the questions of my past.

I'm atheletic, I can do very well in sport related activities. I'm big and have a strong take charge attitude in times of emergency. I work as a tradesman and have many scars and broken....pieces. I love watching (some) sports and really get a kick out of the UFC. I love action movies and AAAAArnold lol. I'm competitive in the right forum. I guess you could say if you met me I could come across as a mans man.

Is this what I think a man is?, not on you're life.

I also raise a daughter on my own. I cry at sappy sad song's. I love heartfelt movies and poetry. I draw pictures with conational emotions. I give hugs to guys. I fall in love with guys. I'm sensitive beyond belief. I absolutely am in utter joy from the flowers I recieved yesterday. I'm beside myself that I can offer some comfort to other people who are hurting. I'm astounded that my sensitivity is accepted amonst men.

I'm not ashamed of either of my trait's, I believe this makes me a whole man. I see nothing wrong with one or the other. There is nothing wrong with being an athelete who competes and being a lover who cries. That makes me a whole person. A whole man.

It's nice to have this outlook now, I spent far too long thinking I had to choose one or the other. Choosing meant giving up a part of me. Now I can just be me. Such a wonderful thing.

Being a man to me means being strong enough to tell all the other "half" men to go fuck themselves \:\)

I enjoy what I enjoy and I love who I love

Stay strong
Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#224091 - 05/13/08 04:28 PM Re: What does it take be a man? [Re: mogigo]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2578
Ya know, maybe what being a man is: "just being me".

Be who you are. If your sappy and emotional, you're a man.
If your rough, tough, and tumble, you're a man.

Just be you. Maybe that's what being a man is. Just you.


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#224093 - 05/13/08 04:32 PM Re: What does it take be a man? [Re: VLinvictus]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
What does it take to be a man?

Funny how we treat manhood as an achievement. If you're male, but haven't earned your stripes, been approved by the village elders, or whatever, then you're...what?

I was probably about 5 when I told my parents I wished I'd been a girl. It had nothing to do with my body--I was perfectly happy with the plumbing arrangements...I just didn't want to have to keep going outside and doing sports while the girls got to stay in and talk and do smart stuff.

I guess it was around then that a kid told me that a "fag" was a boy who acted like a girl. (I don't know if he told me that a girl who acted like a boy was a "gaf" or if that was my own idea.) But I figured that was who I was...it just seemed like a de>

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#224094 - 05/13/08 04:36 PM Re: What does it take be a man? [Re: MemoryVault]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
The question I see asked a few times in various words is:

Is there a difference between being a man and being male?

I just wish I had an answer.

I guess to me, right now, it's more important to find out how to be an "adult" (whatever the heck THAT is). But I think if you can find that place where you are doing the best you can to be the best person you can - and you're male - then you're a man.

Maybe then my answer is: You're a man when you're no longer just a boy... (I pray I never completely stop being a boy)

M


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#224099 - 05/13/08 05:49 PM Re: What does it take be a man? [Re: MarkK]
frost Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
i don't want to come off sounding terribly crass or anything but...

the answer is between our legs. all else is subjective...

that really is all it takes.

~Brian

_________________________
Boom!

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#224100 - 05/13/08 05:58 PM . [Re: MarkK]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
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Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 04:38 PM)

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