What took place in my childhood and adolescence was a creepy, weird combination of overt and covert abuse by my father. Mix that in with physical and emotional abuse and I could see, that gone unchecked, these factors have stunted my emotional growth, and impacted my ability to find and keep a healthy relationship. One that is based on even exchange of love, nurturing, and healing. I met the man of my dreams and I blew it. Hurt him, hurt myself. All this subconcious, self-sabotaging crap prevented me from funtioning as a normal human being. I am going to live have a happy life. I'm done with this old self image. I have really learned to respect the power of the subconsious mind. I am ready to go deep, to challenge all these old limiting, distorted beliefs about myself, that were created as a result of being abused. It is my responsibility to myself for taking back control and charge of my life. Stop blowing wherever the four winds take me. What is this weird sense of duty and obligation I have to other people? My first duty and obligation is to myself. Get right with myself and everything else will fall into place. I won't do it perfectly, no such thing as perfection, I just need to be willing and able and to trust the process. Let the games begin! LOL