I wasn't sure if there were rules about where spouses can/cannot post in the forums.

Obviously we can post in the F&F forums, but do you all prefer we not respond to posts in the men's forum or spirituality forum, etc?

Also - can we post web addresses of other help related sites/discussion boards - ie spiritual abuse, eating disorders, etc... the spiritual abuse one came to mind when I read some of the posts on the Spirituality boards, but I wasn't sure I was allowed to post the info....

Thanks!

The basic rule of thumb is yes, post all you want in F&F, no, never post in the male survivor forum or story forum. As for the others, be smart and cautious. In the beginning, which is where you are, it's best to get a feel for how the board works and which conversation really are just for the men here. 99.9% of the guys here welcome us women, but sometimes, just the fact of us being here can be triggering. It's not an indictment of our gender, just a fact that needs to be dealt with from all sides.

Marissa, I see that you've posted alot in just a few hours - breathe my friend. This is all very, very overwhelming at first. You want to spill it all out at once, but that'll never happen and can actually be damaging. I'm not asking you not to say or ask what you feel, just do it in increments you can handle.

As for other web addresses, we discourage it simply because we don't have any control over other sites. What may be fabulous for one, may be horribly triggering to another. We can't check on every site. Paramount to the Malesurvivor site is the safety of it's members.

ROCK ON.........Trish

Thanks, Trish -

I figured there were some basic guidelines that needed to be followed. I'm figuring, honestly, that F&F will meet all of my needs and I'll do my posting there.

Yes - you are correct - I have laid a lot on the table in the past few hours.....it is actually quite a relief to have someone be able to acknowledge and validate my experiences with my Dh.

I've been in therapy for abuse myself (spiritual abuse - bleck) and an eating disorder and have done really well and feel so much freer than I have in my whole life. On the ED board I belong to - we use it almost as a journal, so I am sort of accustomed to just laying it all out there in print and then receiving feedback and having folks challenge my line of thinking if necessary.

I appreciate the advice - honestly - now that I have that first bit out - I *do* feel like I'm at the place where i am actually *able* to breathe....for once....that someone is living a pralell existence and that there is a reqal cause and that there fore now there is a real solution - we have been floundering in therapy for a YEAR - unable to move past his rigid line of thinking - no idea why we couldn't make progress - and now, we know at least one piece of this puzzle, you know?

It's just so relieving to be somewhere that people understand you....

Thank you for making me feel welcome. I hope that someday DH will come and join or lurk or whatever is helpful to him. I think he feels isolated with his fears in a way....

And I understand about the web addresses...no problem - that's why I wanted to check first...

I know that feeling well Marissa and couldn't agree more

ROCK ON..........Trish