Newest Members
Anony_mous, Drew6991x, Miro, jj843, The Abyss
12364 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Bear (42), BoyNoMore (56), Daniel_05 (40), James Landrith (44), john kay (41)
Who's Online
2 registered (Obi, 1 invisible), 32 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12364 Members
74 Forums
63542 Topics
443966 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#222851 - 05/06/08 02:00 PM Avatars-photos?
Marissa Offline


Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 67
So I notice several of the folks here have what seems to be a photo of themselves as a small child as their avatar.

Is it "representative" of the child that was abused? Does it somehow enable you to connect to that time in your life?

Something else completely?


Top
#222854 - 05/06/08 02:09 PM Re: Avatars-photos? [Re: Marissa]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
For me, I guess you could say it was a representative of me from when I was abused. My picture was towards the end of my abuse.

I don't know the deep answer, but somehow it comforts me to have him up there. It sort of puts a face to the words for myself and others, I think. It gives the abuse a human face maybe. *shrug*

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

Top
#222857 - 05/06/08 02:21 PM Re: Avatars-photos? [Re: AndyJB2005]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2577
Mine is from before the abuse began. It's a kindergarten pic. Abuse started not long thereafter. Guess for me it's about remembering the little fella from before all the stuff happened.


Top
#222861 - 05/06/08 02:26 PM Re: Avatars-photos? [Re: AndyJB2005]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
I agree with Andy, Having a picture of ourselves as we were before or during the abuse helps us connect with the reality that we were just kids. With out a voice, with out a choice. Without the power to save us. We were dependant on adults and they were not always there for us. In some cases never there for us. In my case he was the abuser. It helps us put the blame where it belongs. If your DH has a picture of himself as a child. Get it and keep it with you. Show it to him and remind him how small and helpless he was.

One of the men here at the site that I met in person gave me a wonderful gift. It is a little shirt and pants. I look at that and I realize how small and helpless and dependant on my parents to protect me that I was. It was a great gift.


Top
#222862 - 05/06/08 02:27 PM Re: Avatars-photos? [Re: JustScott]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
Mine is a photo of when the abuse was going on.


Top
#222888 - 05/06/08 05:27 PM Re: Avatars-photos? [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
Marissa Offline


Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 67
Good advice about the picture - thank you. And thank you all for sharing your thoughts with me.


Top
#222893 - 05/06/08 06:01 PM Re: Avatars-photos? [Re: Freedom49]
pufferfish Online   embarrased
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6866
Loc: USA
This is a picture of me at age 6. I am looking down at the dog named Mickey.

Mickey was a dog that chased his tail much to my delight.

Child avatars help me relate to people because I can't trust adults very well.

Puffer



Edited by pufferfish (05/06/08 06:30 PM)

Top
#222894 - 05/06/08 06:07 PM Re: Avatars-photos? [Re: pufferfish]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Mine is when I was about 5. It is the earliest non-baby picture that I have and was taken in the yard at my grandmother's house. I can already see what a broken child I was even at that age due to the physical abuse. Like others stated above, it reminds me of what a defenseless child I was.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#222908 - 05/06/08 06:37 PM Re: Avatars-photos? [Re: Freedom49]
pufferfish Online   embarrased
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6866
Loc: USA
I don't have any child clothing but I have looked at a boys' clothing size chart to help me figure out how big I was.

Actually, children grow up faster today than they did then. So I jump back to the previous size level on the size chart to adjust for this.

http://www.oneofakindkid.com/perry-ellis-boys-size-chart.html

The size is supposed to be the age of the boy.



Edited by pufferfish (05/06/08 06:39 PM)

Top
#222936 - 05/06/08 09:20 PM Re: Avatars-photos? [Re: pufferfish]
River Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/23/07
Posts: 112
Loc: Nashville,Tennessee
This me when I was 6 years old... around the time of the abuse. In the picture I am wearing my favorite cowboy vest... I wore it EVERY day and was VERY upset when I outgrew it. When the abuse occurred something happened inside, the little boy turned inward and buried deep inside. Healing for me has involved the adult River inviting the little River to come out of hiding and to reassure him that the adult River will take care of him.

_________________________
GD

Top
#222966 - 05/07/08 12:14 AM Re: Avatars-photos? [Re: River]
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Mine is from about 4 months before the abuse happened. Like to see the guy before the abuse .

Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

Top
#222977 - 05/07/08 01:47 AM Re: Avatars-photos? [Re: Muldoon]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
mine is for the ice-cream lol

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.