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#222746 - 05/06/08 04:43 AM Re: Coping Coping Coping [Re: bardo213]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
I've never smoked myself, both because of my singing voice, and I have to admit, because sinse all of the girls involved in my abuse (and most of the boys involved in bullying etc), absolutely reeked of cheap cigarettes, it's therefore something of a trigger for me.

Reguarding coping, destraction or talking to people both help, but the problem I find is both take energy, ---- as does trying to mentally look at things and work things out.

It's like a cycle, the more anxious and stressed I am, the less energy I have, so the harder it is to destract myself or talk to someone or work through things.

In terms of destraction as well, when i'm really stressed, I can only do minimally destracting things, such as playing resource management or stratogy games, or looking up random facts and articals on Wikipedia. I can't even watch films or read. I can't even read or watch good films sinse to engage with them is far too difficult, ---- much less listen to music or do something creative.

I've now realized though, that if this is what I've got to do, so it goes. So I've bought a couple of stratogy games, and am fixing to get a decent chess program (not to mention a chess set).

A rather less healthy thing I do though, ---- and something that probably is much like smoking or drinking, is really hit the coco.

I know I have a miner coco addiction. A few years ago, I asked myself just why i had to buy two or three chocolate bars at a time, ---- what was it in the chocolate I needed. Sinse I'm not into fudge or candy floss or anything like that, I knew it wasn't the sugar, and a bit of research determined that it was coco. So, sinse then for dayly coco use I only get really high coco chocolate, ---%70 and over. this is much better for me sinse coco is apparently an unsaturated fat, and actually reduces cholesterol etc, and anyway I'm not eating all the other rammel that gets stuck in chocolate.

Also, being much higher concentration, I need far less of it for my fix.

the problem however comes when I run out of decent quality chocolate, am really stressed and absolutely in need of coco, and go out and buy any random chocolate orientated tat, which is obviously not good.

I've found a shop that sells a tolerable % %70 devine fair trade though, so hopefully I can make certain I always have some.

Btw, while I'm not on medication myself, one disturbing thought I've had is that I've been using coco as an anti-depressant, sinse it certainly has this effect on me (and I can damn well notice it's absense), and I have heard it monkeys about with seratonin levels.

I've completely given up Alcohol though for the moment, and though I've dabble with canibice in the past, ----- eating it not smoking it, and only when i've met up with certain friends, I certainly wouldn't at the moment even if the oppertunity to have some arose.

I'll stick with coco so long as I can keep things under control.

Oh heck! sorry for the really long ramble here.


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#222796 - 05/06/08 10:09 AM Re: Coping Coping Coping [Re: dark empathy]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2586
Hmmmmmmm Chocolate! There's a thought! I love chocolate.

I sing as well, and it's been in the back of my mind about what this will do for that.

Thanks all for the input and advice. I don't want to continue with the smoke, as it's got too many negatives to it. I'll have to stop myself when I feel the need to cope or "feel better" and try to figure out the why's and see what I can do.


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#222838 - 05/06/08 12:46 PM Re: Coping Coping Coping [Re: JustScott]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
In terms of chocolate, I'd recommend going for as high a coco content as you can lay your mits on. A bit of research will reveal some really nasty stuff about chocolate, ---- for examplethat most of what goes into a lot of commercial chocolate is gelatine and other tat.

when I found out that Neslay, --- who make Smarties, airo etc, have an average coco content of only %7, I was shocked, --- but not exactly surprised given the amount of their chocolate I required in the past.

I really agree with that european union trading standards motion where any chocolate with less than %20 coco would've had to be re-labled and sold as vegilate, sinse it would've deffinately shown people the truth. A real shame it got defeated.

Btw, sorry about the wrant and random facts, sinse I discovered my coco addiction I've turned into a bit of a chocolate snob, ----- now I just need to determine the chemical in peetza which my body requires and find a healthier source, and I'll be uba thin! lol!


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