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#222162 - 05/02/08 02:54 PM Coping Coping Coping
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2590
I posted a message once before about not having many or any at all good coping methods. Still looking for some good ones if anyone has any advice.

I started picking up another bad one unfortunately. I've always had a like of puffing on a good cigar now and again, and for some reason after picking up a bunch yesterday, I didn't just puff. WOW! That feels dang great. I know, it's not healthy, but what a stress killer! Creates a wonderful sense of Euphoria. I'm sure all the smokers out there know this already.


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#222395 - 05/04/08 07:01 AM Re: Coping Coping Coping [Re: JustScott]
stefalc1 Offline


Registered: 04/30/08
Posts: 41
Loc: london, uk
i found that my stress levels almost dissapeared when i came out with everything to my gf who has been supportive , i thought i told her everything .but left out the bits i didn`t want to say .
things came to a head and i told her all and she was surprisingly still here. more to the point i could 100% relax around someone , my drinking levels went down and i don`t puff .
i also introdeced her to this site so she could see for herself , i`m pleased to say it has helped us both


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#222419 - 05/04/08 09:47 AM Re: Coping Coping Coping [Re: stefalc1]
MagRaith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/07
Posts: 69
Loc: Salt Lake City, UT
JS -

I know exactly what you're saying. Drugs and alcohol were my only coping skills for a long time. When I gave those up I didn't know what to do in place of those, I guess I'm still learning and developing coping skills. When I feel really stressed, especially about CSA stuff, and don't have a skill to pull on, I pull out my clove cigarettes and they have a similar effect. Like you say, not too healthy obviously but I figure for now it is better than reaching for the meth or coke or any of a number of alternatives.

I guess I figure as I develop coping skills I'll stop this one. For now, I give myself a break. I hope you have someone (like a therapist) that can help you develop those coping skills, I don't think its something you can do on your own.

Kurt


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#222544 - 05/04/08 11:05 PM Re: Coping Coping Coping [Re: MagRaith]
grover Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/28/07
Posts: 50
Loc: Tennessee
are you interested in trying anything creative. I know some guys that like stained glass. I want to try it one day when I have time.

_________________________
Shocking revelations, we are all deeply effected.
-the Waitresses "Wise up"

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#222574 - 05/05/08 03:09 AM Re: Coping Coping Coping [Re: grover]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Try reading a book, or listening to an audio book, in the park. I tried and was blessed.

Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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#222578 - 05/05/08 05:25 AM Re: Coping Coping Coping [Re: JustScott]
Hourglass52 Offline


Registered: 04/16/08
Posts: 59
Loc: New York
I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but smoking actually increases stress. When you smoke you are suffocating your brain, and vital organs. I have learned mindful meditation to relax.

There are thousands of cheap self help books out there on relaxation. Everyone has to find their own way to relax. Smoking is not a healthy way to relax. If it is so relaxing why is your post apologetic. You are worried about it already. I smoked for 35 years, and I have suffered because of it. Smoking is a nicotine drug addiction, and nothing else. Cigarettes are all about getting you hooked on nicotine, and keeping you hooked. Good luck with that one.



Edited by Hourglass52 (05/05/08 05:26 AM)
_________________________
" This above all: To thine own self be true" (William Shakespeare).

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#222601 - 05/05/08 11:05 AM Re: Coping Coping Coping [Re: JustScott]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
Originally Posted By: JustScott
...for some reason after picking up a bunch yesterday, I didn't just puff. WOW! That feels dang great.

I am confused by this statement. Do you mean that you didn't smoke them at all, or that you did something more than "just puffing" like inhaling?

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#222604 - 05/05/08 11:43 AM Re: Coping Coping Coping [Re: cbfull]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2590
Originally Posted By: cbfull
Originally Posted By: JustScott
...for some reason after picking up a bunch yesterday, I didn't just puff. WOW! That feels dang great.

I am confused by this statement. Do you mean that you didn't smoke them at all, or that you did something more than "just puffing" like inhaling?



Yes, I inhaled. I know a lot of people smoke cigars for the taste etc. I inhaled and the rush felt great.

I know I should quit before I get hooked. I think I need to. I smoked one earlier today, and found myself zoning out and disconnecting. How dumb is that. I found myself apologizing to the little me's inside. Also stupid. I know it's bad and unhealthy, and now I'm feeling like crap about it. So I guess it isn't such a great coping anything. Gotta find something else.

I know I'm stressed like crazy right now. Sharing my story tonight in a Co-Ed group, and I'm tense and anxious about it. I find myself already hoping that I can zone out and just read it like it's a story from a book, but I know that won't happen. I've never been able to disconnect when I really wanted to. I know that stress over the past week has been driving me and my old coping habits. Just don't know how to deal with the anxiety and stress. I've been trying the ones my T has suggested so far, but nothing really seems to work right now. Gotta keep looking I guess.


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#222612 - 05/05/08 12:42 PM Re: Coping Coping Coping [Re: JustScott]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
Ah, I feel a little foolish now for not getting that. Nicotine has never done anything for me but make me feel dizzy and sick. Perhaps it's because I grew up with both parents smoking all the time. I remember always being able to see the sun coming into the house in a beam that was clearly visible. Seems to me that should make me a sure addict but just the opposite has resulted. Go figure.

There are much cleaner and less addictive ways to get nicotine into your system if you crave/enjoy it to that degree. I have heard that the gum is pretty effective as long as you remember to chew it only a little and then slide it under your tongue.

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#222623 - 05/05/08 01:47 PM . [Re: cbfull]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
.


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 04:33 PM)

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