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#22198 - 10/14/03 09:20 PM Re: Flashbacks during sex... feeling terrified.
survive75 Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 304
Loc: Massachusetts
Hey all, thanks as always for making me feel a little less alone in all of this.

Just to clarify, the flashbacks for me are just the brief memories I have and some of the memories I recovered in therapy. While tough enough to deal with on their own, they double in intensity when brought on during sex. And when I couldn't force them away, I just went into panic mode with my g/f. I didn't want her to touch me after a while, especially when I couldn't escape into my tried-and-true fantasies. (No one was really off-topic here with the fantasy stuff... the guilt of using these violent scenarios plagues me every time I use them and your posts did help.) My guilt is not that I have the fantasies but more THAT I NEED THEM. If they were just an option, that would be one thing. But that my body refuses to let go without them... just frustrating. And yes, the subject matter disturbs me (why I need such violent scenes just to escape from my body.)

Things are a bit better today. The memories will not leave my mind... floating in and out last night in bed and today at work. My therapist used to say I need to thank my subconscious when it hands me things free of charge. Gee, thanks. \:\)



"Even though I know/I donít want to know/Yeah I guess I know/I just hate how it sounds"

#22199 - 10/14/03 09:45 PM Re: Flashbacks during sex... feeling terrified.
Little_E Offline
Member & Volunteer
Registered: 11/14/02
Posts: 169
Loc: London UK
Hay dude, your not alone, Sex, brings up alot of emotions and Flashbacks for me to. And tryig to hide them us just the srart.

If your not livin on the edge your taking up to much space!


#22200 - 10/15/03 02:35 AM Re: Flashbacks during sex... feeling terrified.
ARW Offline

Registered: 08/29/02
Posts: 161
Loc: LA
Flashbacks and fantasies. Have the former, never found any of the latter to do me any good. I wish they did. I just keep imagining the flashes of violation when I'm in an intimate situation and I shut down. Only booze would get me past it, and I quit drinking. Ugh. Reminds me of the Richard Thompson song "When will I ever be simple again?"

When indeed. Good advice here in this post. As ever.

In every cry of every man,
In every Infant's cry of fear,
In every voice, in every ban,
The mind-forged manacles I hear.
-William Blake

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