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#221700 - 04/30/08 12:31 PM I hope no one takes offense...
Corbin327 Offline


Registered: 04/29/08
Posts: 38
Loc: New York
...but I've found that smoking marijuana has helped me more than any pre>
_________________________
The sacred lies in the ordinary

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#221703 - 04/30/08 12:47 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Corbin327]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Hey, whatever works for you ok? Don't apologize for "confessing" that a plant helps you. Rather, it is the U.S. Federal Government that should apologize to the American people for acting contrary to the popular wishes of the people that it claims to represent.

But, in reference to the notion that you suggested, that being that your "need" something to help you feel better, on what basis do you say this? Do you REALLY need some foreign substance in your body to feel ok? Artificial or natural? How about, instead, changing the circumstances in your life that is currently making you unhappy? What is it about your current status that you don't like?

I don't know you or your history, but I for one have come to believe that, for instance, depression, is more attributable to current circumstances in one's life, rather than some "chemical imbalance" or whatever euphemistic spin one wants to label it with.

If you're in an unhappy/co-dependent/ relationship, GET OUT OF IT, don't just take a pill. If you're unhappy with being overwieght, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, don't just take a pill, if you're unhappy with your current job, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, don't just take a pill. See what I'm saying?


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#221707 - 04/30/08 01:09 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Hauser]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Corbin327
If you are having some anxiety issues with the recovery process and you find that rare, and I would consider twice a month rare, use of this plant helps you then I would think you could do the same with something legal. I would not advocate doing anything illegal and I would certainly be careful here as this could lead to some serious legal complications and if you think you hve anxiety now...... well.

Personally I would stick to the legal stuff and see if I could make some head way there. Are you seing a therapist? That can definately help. I am certainly not offened at all but I would caution you to be very careful here as this could have some unintened consequences. Thanks for the post. Would be nice if the govenment would allow its use for this.


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#221802 - 04/30/08 08:42 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Freedom49]
Corbin327 Offline


Registered: 04/29/08
Posts: 38
Loc: New York
I am not currently seeing a therapist, which I guess is half of my problem. I have no health insurance and the one free mental health clinic I've been to was not a good experience. My friends are my therapists, which I realize is not the best idea but I feel like my back is against the wall at the moment. I'll be moving back into NYC over the summer and hope to find a good support group.

_________________________
The sacred lies in the ordinary

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#222093 - 05/02/08 06:39 AM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Corbin327]
Hourglass52 Offline


Registered: 04/16/08
Posts: 59
Loc: New York
As long as you realise you are putting a band aid on a cancer when you use illegal drugs for relief. Thousands of survivors are in AA, and NA as we speak. I suggest you read some self help books. The first book that I suggest is " Legacy of the Heart" The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood, by Wayne Muller. This book saved my life. The second book " Wounded Boys, Heroic Men" a Man's Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse, by Daniel Jay Sonkin, Ph.D. Because of our abuse we have been trained to think in dysfunctional patterns, and you need to break those patterns if you want relief.

_________________________
" This above all: To thine own self be true" (William Shakespeare).

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#222199 - 05/02/08 07:05 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Hourglass52]
Corbin327 Offline


Registered: 04/29/08
Posts: 38
Loc: New York
I'll look for those books this weekend. Thanks for the advice and support.

_________________________
The sacred lies in the ordinary

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#222301 - 05/03/08 12:24 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Corbin327]
ineffable Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 1371
Loc: state of holeecrapdood
Hi Corbin

The pharmaceutical companies have looked at the active agents in a lot of natural stimulants like pot to see if they can
synthesize, apply it to a medical condition & profit

I think that if ganja helps you blaze on mon
Don't take on any new guilt from anything posted here ok?

You mentioned it is casual & you are taking other steps
Once you get into therapy & moving forward you might find you toke because you like to

as for the nay sayers, go get yerself a triple espresso WTF? for a "little pick me up"

nuff said



_________________________
:: "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there" ::


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#227989 - 05/31/08 01:06 AM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Corbin327]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
I smoked pot for over 20 years. Most of that time was everyday use. I started right after the Kent State riots. It got me through my toughest period before I started into therapy my first time. Over time I noticed that it took away my energy and subtracted from my drive and desire. It contributed to my isolation. There were only certain people that I could be with. It contributed to my lack of trust of normal people and my distrust of society as a whole.

A little pot might not be a totally bad thing. But it goes from once every couple of weeks to smoking it on the way to work. Then smoking it at lunch. And smoking it on the way home too. Pretty soon it's use completely occupies your life. Some people seem to be able to control it better than others. But those suffering from abuse issues tend towards lack of good control.

I would be very careful with a little pot habit, myself. I had a buddy who got fired from his job at the age of 40 because him and his girlfriend got busted smoking some in his car at the company Christmas party. I guess that his boss didn't think that a civil engineer should be smoking pot even away from work. It was a very costly evening for him, and eventully it cost him his living situation.

Hope that you are doing OK my man.

Trucker Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#228014 - 05/31/08 04:29 AM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Trucker51]
Nyjah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 610
Rasta boy here...so...yeah. Enough said.


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#228072 - 05/31/08 10:09 AM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Nyjah]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1245
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
I'm with Corbin. I've gotten a lot more from pot than any pre>
_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#228079 - 05/31/08 10:36 AM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: AndyJB2005]
dancr6 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 383
Loc: georgia
St. John's Wort has been shown to be as effective as anti-depressants, it's an herb just hasn't had "illegal" attached to it....yet. If it conflicts with big drug manufacturers it might someday be. I am still not understanding why having the government classify something legal after all the crap the FDA has allowed into our system would make it better than an herb which grows in nature and has been the victim of politics.

_________________________
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!

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#228115 - 05/31/08 12:49 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Corbin327]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
You touched on it: It is an illegal substance. You get caught even by your employer the consequences can be pretty rough. Just a few years ago in Laramie, Wyoming, a 20 year old junior at the University of Wyoming was talked into sparing a joint after meeting someone at a bar for college kids. This kid was on the National Honor Society. He was charged with selling pot to an undercover narc, and got 2 to 4 years in the penetentiary. He was a fairly petite kid. Gee, I wonder if he is screwed up for life? For 28 years I really didn't think about the consequences at all. I had a much worse problem with cocaine which went from the early 1980s to 1999.

In a lot of places they just don't care when someone gets busted for drugs. Just wanted to let you know.

Trucker Mark



Edited by Trucker51 (05/31/08 12:50 PM)

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#228118 - 05/31/08 01:16 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Trucker51]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I used to be a daily smoker of the herb, but as I got older it started making me paranoid when I got high. So I stopped in my late 20s. The working Society today is at zero tolerance for substance use. The last place I worked they could do random drug tests and if you failed you might as well look for a new job. No wonder I got paranoid @_@

Trucker hit on it for me the part about control. After years of alcohol/drug abuse I have learned that I have little control once I get started using again. I also agree with Hauser on changing what you can to reduce the cause of the issue. I gave up on a relationship that was needy and hurting me. I have also passed up promotions to supervisor because I don't handle that kind of stress well. Yeah it would be higher paying but is my peace of mind worth giving up for
an extra $100.00 in the paycheck? I didn't think it was.

Anyway its your choice, and I wish you well on your journey of recovery.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#228119 - 05/31/08 01:20 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Trucker51]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1245
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Well that's Wyoming. They aren't exactly laid back there. lol

2-4 years in prison for a joint? What a waste of tax payer money. That's over $100,000 (for 4 years) down the drain.

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#228148 - 05/31/08 03:00 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: AndyJB2005]
Nyjah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 610

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#228155 - 05/31/08 04:37 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Nyjah]
dancr6 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 383
Loc: georgia
We all have differing ideas of what works for us.

I was raised around drunks but I relax with one beer or scotch most evenings. A binge for me would be three drinks at an all day event and that rarely happens. when I smoked pot I was satisfied with a "hit" two or three times a week. I don't think the government is doing a wise thing by keeping it illegal.

When I first realized that what happened to me as a six year old was not my fault I had a bout of depression and found that smoking one evening would keep me somewhat relaxed for several days. Maybe the placebo effect but It helped me through a pretty tough time.

I don't advocate any "crutch" but I believe we all have the right to experiment, hopefully with some sensibility and research about the product we plan on trying and it's possible consequences.

.

_________________________
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!

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#229630 - 06/08/08 01:01 AM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: AndyJB2005]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
I was a real stoner back in the 60s, but when I tried to break free from drugs in the 70s it turned out that weed was no problem for me to walk away from.

The problem isn't marijuana as such, I think, but rather that using it can get you into a crowd that's into a lot of other very rough drugs. And if you "need' the weed, I suppose that can translate into big trouble with other more dangerous drugs being used in your circle.

That's what did me in back when I was 20. I had already been using a lot of weed and dropping acid too, but in San Francisco I ran into a crowd that was doing heroin as well. That connection almost cost me my life.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#230136 - 06/10/08 03:28 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: roadrunner]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Larry:

Were you still doing junk when you gave up the evil weed? I gave up pot after 21 years of everyday use when I was smoking a lot of crack. There wasn't any to buy for a while and a few weeks later when there was I didn't need it anymore. I had another drug that rendered it a moot point. And you are right about the crowd and needing it too.

I've got older relatives in Palo Alto that were hanging around the Haight back in the late 1960s. My cousin Martha and Spencer got married back in the late 1970s. They were big into the weed scene there at one time.

Trucker Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#230362 - 06/11/08 03:57 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Trucker51]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

No I wasn't. I got my wake up-call when my pregnant girlfriend ODed and died on a river trip that was supposed to be "cleansing". Instead they all got drunk and then, of course, someone gets out their works .... I wasn't there, but I blamed myself.

I never saw weed as the problem, or at least I never got to the point that I would do anything for it. It never owned me. I've been clean off the heavy crap I was doing (junk, meth, acid) since the Fourth of July '75, and to do that it was mainly a matter of rehab and then keeping away from certain people.

I'm still very careful. I can walk down a street and tell you who's holding what, who's the lookout, who's the hook, etc. Even if I've never been in that city before. Weird. But I just use that info to keep away. If I'm at a party and I find out there's crap like smack or crack on offer somewhere in the house, I'm out the door.

And I still hear "the voice" when I'm stressed or pressured about something: "one more time", "it's okay", "I'm here for you", etc. I laugh it off and ignore it, but it's still there.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#230388 - 06/11/08 06:04 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: roadrunner]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Larry:

Sorry to hear about your girlfriend, my man. I've known a few people who have died or had worse things happen from using hard drugs. A close friend that I was living with in 1991 slipped and hit his head getting out of the shower while drunk as a skunk, trying to detox off of junk and methadone. He had to have brain surgery and has been institutionalized ever since. Or there is my old roommate in Minnesota. Five years after I moved out on him his girlfriend OD'd in bed with him. I guess that it could be said that he permanently ruined her recovery, just as he had helped to ruin mine, since she was clean out of Hazelden when they met. I also knew a known blues guitarist who Od'd in Cleveland back in the 1980s, and a kid I grew up with Od'd in 9th grade too.

You are so right about being able to see it going on. While waiting at a stoplight I watched a car park and a woman run in the back door of a liqour store. 30 seconds later four people including the woman came out and ran for their cars. I told my partner my suspicions even before one of them lit-up his glass pipe in his car. Or I was in a crowded bar a few years ago when a couple guys came in and headed straight to the john, as 2 dozen guys guys in the bar followed them. Gee, I wonder what they are selling, I asked my friend. And sure enough, 90 seconds later, they all left. These days I can even smell it if someone is smoking pot from outside of their front door, often from 15 feet away from their door. I'll bet that I'm not the only one with that ability.

Once in Cleveland I was renting an apartment right above the landlord's daughter. I noticed that there was beginning to be a problem with late night traffic, when people started banging on the front door at all hours of the night. I finally had an angry discussion with the landlord, who was angry at me at first. A few weeks later he came back to apologize and asked me how did I know? I said, come-on Joe, there is only one drug that people come back over and over all night long for. I knew that she was selling coke. He then thanked me for letting him know, and she moved out the very next weekend.

Glad to find out that you have had so much success staying away from it. I am at 8 & 1/2 years myself.

Trucker Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#230420 - 06/11/08 08:13 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Trucker51]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

Geez. 8 and a half years is an eternity when you're trying to get clear of this stuff. Well done! What helps me a lot is to think that if I slip I not only put myself in great danger, I also have to restart the clock from zero - and I do NOT want to do that!

Another trick: Think of the skankiest hoe you ever saw, and then link drugs to that image. That is, when you get "the voice" calling to you, that image is the one that comes to your mind. I swear! It really works! lol

Wow ... have we hijacked this thread or what? Sorry!

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#230422 - 06/11/08 08:18 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: roadrunner]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Originally Posted By: roadrunner
Mark,

Geez. 8 and a half years is an eternity when you're trying to get clear of this stuff. Well done! What helps me a lot is to think that if I slip I not only put myself in great danger, I also have to restart the clock from zero - and I do NOT want to do that!

Another trick: Think of the skankiest hoe you ever saw, and then link drugs to that image. That is, when you get "the voice" calling to you, that image is the one that comes to your mind. I swear! It really works! lol

Wow ... have we hijacked this thread or what? Sorry!

Much love,
Larry


Thanks for that, Larry. That helps me in some other areas I need to work on. \:\)

_________________________
Eddie

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#230470 - 06/12/08 12:01 AM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: EGL]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
Guys:

It started with just a couple of puffs of weed, then progressed to hard drugs, skanky women, unsavory characters, even drug overdoses, and then to the lifelong after-effects of a long addiction. Isn't that what they tried to tell us back in the 60s and 70s?

And we didn't believe them then. Don't just take my word for it. After all, Larry has been there too.

Recovery is possible. And a lot more is possible when you are off of illegal drugs.

TM

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#231969 - 06/19/08 07:48 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: Trucker51]
dancr6 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 383
Loc: georgia
Some of us tasted the waters without trying to swallow the lake.

My experience with "weed" was not a precursor to anything else and it was a brief and benificial time. I am not able to give horror stories about it. Nothing is for everyone and harsh consequences aren't experienced by all. I'm sorry for those of you who had bad experiences but I just cant share in bashing what is helpful to at least a few of us. I no longer use it but it was good for me for the brief time I did. That doesn't mean I am an advocate but harsh criticism is not what I would advocate either.

_________________________
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!

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#232125 - 06/20/08 09:03 AM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: dancr6]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Dan,

I hope you don't see my comments as harsh criticism of you personally. I'm glad it all worked out for you. No problem there, and when my own kids experimented I watched carefully but didn't get into any judgments against them.

I personally don't think of smoking weed as, in itself, a harmful thing to do and I myself don't have any horror stories about it either. My point was just that for a kid who's desperately hurting and emotionally vulnerable this can become the entry point into a world he absolutely cannot handle. But yes, of course you're right - most don't go that far. I was just speaking from the perspective of one who did.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#232244 - 06/20/08 04:58 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: roadrunner]
dancr6 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 383
Loc: georgia
Larry, thank you for correcting my interpretation. It took a lot for me to disagree but since my experience was so different I wanted to contrast where I thought the conversation was going. I did feel that it was going in a harsh direction and was glad to read your explanation.

_________________________
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!

Top
#232272 - 06/20/08 08:22 PM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: dancr6]
arronb Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 1005
Loc: Perth
_________________________
Keep Smilin'
arronb

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#232364 - 06/21/08 09:19 AM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: dancr6]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Dan,

Originally Posted By: dancr6
It took a lot for me to disagree but since my experience was so different I wanted to contrast where I thought the conversation was going. I did feel that it was going in a harsh direction and was glad to read your explanation.

I'm glad you spoke up, my friend. You felt you weren't being heard, or not being heard correctly, so commenting to say so was something you needed to do.

As survivors we often find it difficult to do that - I know I struggled with that for a long time. But you did it, that alerted me to the possibility that we were "ships passing in the night", as it were, and now things are cleared up. \:\)

The possibilities for getting wires crossed on the Net are very high, I think. After all, we just see words on a screen and sometimes it's hard to put the right emphasis in what one says, or to see that emphasis in the way the other guy intended.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#232365 - 06/21/08 09:22 AM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: roadrunner]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Arron,

Very nice!!! \:\) Am I correct in remembering that there's also a song asking if God reads Rolling Stone?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#236229 - 07/06/08 12:14 AM Re: I hope no one takes offense... [Re: roadrunner]
hogan_dawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
Corbin - thanks for your confession and all that - the real issue is: Do you share?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ok it wasn't very funny.

I think smoking pot is fine. If anxiety is an issue, and depression, my suggestion is that you grow your own.
I say grow it also because the street strains are often sprinkled and you don't want that shit, dealers carry guns, HG is cheaper, better, more reliabile and consistent in terms of the effects on anxiety. The paradox has already been mentioned by one of the guys on this thread, but it's worth repeating: If you grow, your anxiety will also grow. You'll fear the PowLice busting down your door and hauling your ass to the PowLice station wearing your PJs and a T shirt like on the TV show 'Cops'. Bad scene. Thing is, street stuff costs a lot, and that causes anxt too. Your call.

Maybe consider SATIVEX or an equivalent legal alternative.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, ha ha ha ha ha heh heh heh

Best, Dawg



Edited by hogan_dawg (07/06/08 12:33 AM)
_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

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