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#221110 - 04/28/08 01:57 PM Seems odd to me.....
blacken Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1268
Loc: Northern Ohio
Seems odd to me....

If I get a cut....it heals. It doesn't just re-open a couple months later after being fully healed.
Yet, with abuse issues, this seems to be the "standard operating policy".

Issues I felt I had completely overcome, & had demonstrated by lack of being triggered, or being able to control responses to, or just not caring, or not even having a reaction to, & Bam...cut re-opened. And it hurts.

Perhaps its more like cancer, & feeling healed is really just remission.

I heard about a virus that can cause a cancer.
So maybe I (we) have been infected by an yet undetected virus (physically &/or mentally), and I have (we all have) cancer.

A Trauma Virus we received during the abuse that led to a slow growth cancer.
There is no cure. We have to fight it all our lives. The doctors can only treat It, or Its side effects.
We go into remission, we let our guard down & it comes roaring back.

Perhaps it creeps back too sometimes. Slowly working its way into our lives again. I/We may know what it looks like, but I/we don't seem to see it, even when others do. It looks just like our hand, or our face, or our beating heart. We can't cut it out, it is part of us, but not any one single piece of us.

Does that also mean we are all carriers?
Does It have a force of will?
Does it want to reproduce?
Are we really just the host?
Or are we trying desperately to convince ourselves we have not already been Turned?

"Who Am I?" takes on a whole new quandary.

Seams less odd now, but far more terrifying.

Guess that means I will always be....

Blacken

_________________________
Everyone is a genius! If you were to judge a fish, by its ability to climb a tree,
it would think it was stupid all of it's life.
~Albert Einstein

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#221144 - 04/28/08 03:36 PM Re: Seems odd to me..... [Re: blacken]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Blacken,
We we break an arm, it heals. 30 years later we are not sitting in a therapists office telling him we just can't get over this lousy broken arm thing.

However, when we are sexually abused it is an asualt on our spirit and our soul. That with which are were designed to connect with another human being on a special level of our being.

When that is wounded it does not heal readily. That takes some healing of the spirit and soul and that takes some time with a T. We can't do that on our own. It is part of the intangible self.
That is why you can find men and women in their 50s 60s and 70s in a T's office weeping and telling him it hurts and I just can't seem to get over it.
There is no correlation between a broken arm, slashed finger, or black eye. Our bodies heal on their own mostly if the damage is not severe. Our souls do not.

That part of us that falls in love, that wants to give themselves and their body to someone they love, that is what is damaged. Sometimes to the point were we are no longer able to give in that fashion. We need help to get that back to a healthy place. That healing takes time. Sometimes, it never does and certainly it will not with out help.

When we lose our way in our soul, we need another soul to help us find our way back. Not many souls are trained to do that. Welcome to malesurvivor.


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