Seems odd to me....
If I get a cut....it heals. It doesn't just re-open a couple months later after being fully healed.
Yet, with abuse issues, this seems to be the "standard operating policy".
Issues I felt I had completely overcome, & had demonstrated by lack of being triggered, or being able to control responses to, or just not caring, or not even having a reaction to, & Bam...cut re-opened. And it hurts.
Perhaps its more like cancer, & feeling healed is really just remission.
I heard about a virus that can cause a cancer.
So maybe I (we) have been infected by an yet undetected virus (physically &/or mentally), and I have (we all have) cancer.
A Trauma Virus we received during the abuse that led to a slow growth cancer.
There is no cure. We have to fight it all our lives. The doctors can only treat It, or Its side effects.
We go into remission, we let our guard down & it comes roaring back.
Perhaps it creeps back too sometimes. Slowly working its way into our lives again. I/We may know what it looks like, but I/we don't seem to see it, even when others do. It looks just like our hand, or our face, or our beating heart. We can't cut it out, it is part of us, but not any one single piece of us.
Does that also mean we are all carriers?
Does It have a force of will?
Does it want to reproduce?
Are we really just the host?
Or are we trying desperately to convince ourselves we have not already been Turned?
"Who Am I?" takes on a whole new quandary.
Seams less odd now, but far more terrifying.
Guess that means I will always be....
They will not Give us peace, we must find it ourselves, we have the power within us, we will find it together. -Blacken