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#225628 - 05/21/08 08:39 PM Re: what was the one charateristic of your abuser. [Re: ScottyTodd]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
HE USED HIS MILITARY POSISION TO INTIMIDATE PEOPLE THAT SERVED UNDER HIM

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#225678 - 05/22/08 12:10 AM Re: what was the one charateristic of your abuser. [Re: OKIE MIKE]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
******Warning May Be Triggering*******

WOW...

This thought just came to me.

One of the characteristics I cherish in myself, is the ability to plan and carry out, very difficult tasks. I used to own my own party planning company. I was very good at all the little details. I was quite adept at reading a client and matching the plans to their unspoken desires. Because that business required long term planning, I can be very patient, and work the plan to completion. My current business is very similar, lots of planning and long term goals. Then the final pay-off, reward or success.

HORROR of HORROR'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(slap in the face)

This characteristic is one of the major memories of my perpetrator. My perp spent almost 6 months grooming me. He had a plan, with a clear goal in mind. He worked this plan on many boys. (I have since found out) He had the ability to read his victims and conform to meet their unspoken needs. He was one of the most patient scout leaders I can remember. He never got mad at any of the scouts in our troop. He covered every detail. (i.e. made sure his wife was out of the house, had 8mm porno films handy, and made sure that I wasn't missed while he had the time needed to rape me) All of this led to the final pay-off, reward or climax!!! (pun intended)

WOW...!!!!!!!!!

It's hard to look in the mirror...

Wondering,
Carl



_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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#225680 - 05/22/08 12:18 AM Re: what was the one charateristic of your abuser. [Re: Scoutvictim]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7819
Hi Carl,

If I may, I want to point out something that may or may not be so obvious to you already, which is that you use your characteristic for good, while he used it for evil. Very different! From reading what you wrote, I see this as a very good quality to have in you, and I'm the same way in that I plan things down to the very tiny minutia (you oughtta see one of my vacation schedules, lol!). But the perps know they have to plan and scheme as well, but their planning is so totally evil and wrong.

So, when's the next party???

_________________________
Eddie

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#225688 - 05/22/08 12:37 AM Re: what was the one charateristic of your abuser. [Re: EGL]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
sorry...

hit post twice


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#225689 - 05/22/08 12:37 AM Re: what was the one charateristic of your abuser. [Re: EGL]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
Eddie,

Thank you for your comments. I do realize the pure evil in his ability.

BUT!!!!

By the grace of God...

What triggers the switch, to evil... from good?

hmmmmm....

Could he have been a victim of CSA in his childhood? ... that's ME ...

Was he lonely? ... that's ME ...

Was he sexually frustrated? ... that's ME ...

hmmmmm....

still wondering,
Carl

P.S. This weekend, is my next big event. It's going to be a long weekend, but very profitable.

_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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#225722 - 05/22/08 08:47 AM Re: what was the one charateristic of your abuser. [Re: Scoutvictim]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7819
Hi Carl,

I think some people are just born with a lack of conscience. And some may be made that way by upbringing, it's hard to say what causes one person to become so inherently evil while another one becomes so saintly good. But it's easy to see that you fall into the later category, man. You already got the crown and everything. \:\)

So, c'mon everyone - the party's at Carl's! Let's go!!! (Uh, Carl, you don't mind if I bring a few friends, do you?)

_________________________
Eddie

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#225745 - 05/22/08 10:09 AM Re: what was the one charateristic of your abuser. [Re: roadrunner]
Thomson Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/12/06
Posts: 30
He would tell me stories, fantastic stories and would show me science experiments.

_________________________
There is enough light for one to see the truth.

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#225812 - 05/22/08 03:39 PM Re: what was the one charateristic of your abuser. [Re: Thomson]
des6263 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/15/06
Posts: 137
Loc: midwest, US
He was my brother, I wanted him to like me.

_________________________
May the Flames of Truth Burn Bright

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#225817 - 05/22/08 03:59 PM Re: what was the one charateristic of your abuser. [Re: des6263]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1867
Loc: durham, north england
They acted as if it was a joke, but at the same time clearly hated me just for being who I was. Often whether I got abused or not simply depended upon whether I was noticed or not.


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#225828 - 05/22/08 04:38 PM Re: what was the one charateristic of your abuser. [Re: dark empathy]
JasonSmalls Offline
Guest

Registered: 12/01/07
Posts: 142
Loc: NJ
I would say the one defining characteristic my abuser had was "charm." It wasn't charm for me, but more for other people. I think it's the single biggest reason that when I did try to tell people what was going on, including my own mother, it was his charm that led those "authority figures" to disbelieve my stories of abuse, rape, and torture.

My own mother had witnessed, first hand, his abusing me, but I think she just denied to herself what she saw, because my uncle had really good way of charming people into believing him.

Joey


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