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#220947 - 04/27/08 07:23 PM The Nightmares are back again:
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
I was doing so well after I came back from Sequoia WoR as my nightmares all but disappeared. Seems after I told "My Story" to my group members, I felt so much relief. I was actually believed. I really was sexual abused. I knew it all alone, I just didn't think anyone else would believe me. It was absolutely wonderful to be able to sleep through most nights without waking up screaming and crying. I even stopped recently taking med's for nightmares that my psychiatrist perscribed.

The last 2 nights the nightmares are back. And back with a vengence. I just know this is definitely a set back for me. So I layed around today thinking what changed recently that would cause the nightmares to come back. I haven't a clue, nothing knew, just the same crap.

Oh, my GF did move out a couple weeks ago, but after thinking about that it was more of a blessing than a curse. Sure wish I could come up with an answer. I would sell everything I had just to be able to find a cure for my nightmares.

Sorry for this post. I just needed to vent my frustration and anger.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#220948 - 04/27/08 07:28 PM Re: The Nightmares are back again: [Re: KENKEN]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi Ken,

No need to be sorry for this post, if you need to say things, then you have every right to do so and you should do so. It may be that the cummulative stress from things is building back up such that it's affecting your sleep now with the nightmares. Are you seeing a T? If so, you sure need to talk to them about this. They can probably help you work through things so that these nightmares subside again. I hope things get better for you with this.

_________________________
Eddie

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#220951 - 04/27/08 07:51 PM Re: The Nightmares are back again: [Re: EGL]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 980
Loc: HULBERT OK
You ansered your own question. The reason that your Nightmares are back is that you stoped takeing the meds for the nightmares

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#221001 - 04/28/08 02:27 AM Re: The Nightmares are back again: [Re: OKIE MIKE]
endlessjourney Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
It is my speculation that the nightmares are your mind's way of getting over the pain of the past. It's a long battle but it can be comforting knowing that each nightmare (as terrifying and horrific as they may seem) mark another step to getting over your CSA and moving closer to freedom. You're moving towards that finish line. I'm sure you've heard the old fable of the turtoise and the hare. (forgive me if my spelling is off). The hare raced to the finish line but got overconfident and tired. The turtoise took his time and won the race. The turtoise had that one in the bag. One thing at a time my friend.

This one may be scary but this might help you. A little trick I learned, was to write down everything I could recall about a memory, or in your case, a nightmare. It's important to make sure you have someone to talk to in case things get too hectic. A therapist perhaps. It's important to ask yourself "am I ready for this now". Perhaps, wait until you feel at your best and you have plenty of time to relax during and after. Anyway, you can set an alarm fo 20 minutes before you start writing and freewrite about the dream. It will reveal many things about your experience and help you to identify it, deal with it, and eventually conquer it. The 20 minute time period makes sure you don't over do it. Spending too much time on a situation like that can be very taxing. Dealing with harsh memories and nightmares can take a lot out of you and it's important to take care of yourself so that you have the endurance and strength to deal with everyday life situations outside of CSA.

Just some food for thought,

Much love,
Jason

_________________________
Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

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#221067 - 04/28/08 11:17 AM Re: The Nightmares are back again: [Re: endlessjourney]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Thanks guys for your reply.

I did get my med's refilled this morning.

I really like your idea Jason. I will start to journal again regarding my nightmares. Last night I made it thru without any problems. Seems I can almost predict when the nightmares will occur. If I have triggers or let myself get real down, seems that night is gonna be a tough one.

Sometimes I just don't know what I would do w/out the help and support from this site.

Thanks again

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#221070 - 04/28/08 11:51 AM Re: The Nightmares are back again: [Re: KENKEN]
Denniss Offline
New Here

Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 25
Loc: California
Ken,

Good to hear your voice and glad that you are here. That little boy inside of you remains safe and you are providing a healthier place for him.

I recall nightmares coming and going in my life and it often occurred when everyday life just felt too big and sleep deprivation piled ontop. Meds helped me get the rest (mental and physical) required to muscle through my daily issues. Now that the "issues" are manageable, I've backed off the meds and feel much more balanced. I'm not sure if this helps or not but I thought it would be good to share this with you.

The Sequoia's taught me that our dragons will stop/minimize once we begin to remove the fear, shame, and other abuse related feelings that have been cast upon us.

Meanwhile keep your boy safe, love yourself, and know that you are part of a very powerful brotherhood.

_________________________
Always,
Dennis

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