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#220886 - 04/27/08 01:19 PM Black out
simonsurvives Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 58
Loc: California, Fresno
I fuck up my life to much


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#220891 - 04/27/08 01:58 PM Re: Black out [Re: simonsurvives]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Me too...seems like...

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#220914 - 04/27/08 03:54 PM Re: Black out [Re: AndyJB2005]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
It does seem to be true that we often are our own worst critics.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#220922 - 04/27/08 04:18 PM Re: Black out [Re: WalkingSouth]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
I have done that a lot in the past. I misunderstood what I was dealing with and made decisions based on the wrong informaion and screwed up. Or I just got depressed and said hell with it who cares only later to learn I cared and many others too.
Sigh, Bad choices, and no one to ask about them.


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#220963 - 04/27/08 08:58 PM Re: Black out [Re: Freedom49]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1962
Hey, me too. Pretty much made lots of terrible decisions. A lot of what I did was centered on a needed to escape my self-awareness of what I had been my past. Before I remembered my past, I was still driven by it, and sub-consciously was running from myself then as well (may have in fact been the mechanism that allowed the memories to stay repressed). In my heart I wanted good in my life, but was at a complete loss to figure out how to get that.

I have been working hard to find the self-respect, understanding, forgiveness, etc. that will allow me to make good and positive decisions for myself, and to get to a point where I actually feel I deserve this.


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#220969 - 04/27/08 09:24 PM Re: Black out [Re: ericc]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
I made a lot of bad decisions when I was running away from the past. It seems like they jsut started to feed on each other then as well.

_________________________
Eddie

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#220973 - 04/27/08 09:46 PM Re: Black out [Re: EGL]
dannym Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/24/07
Posts: 543
Loc: Boulder, Colorado
I have made a mess of my life at times... but I have also made some pretty nice choices. Some of them have been long term, others just fleeting, but I'm trying to focus on the good stuff. I've given the bad stuff too much air time for too long!

_________________________
"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

Marge Simpson

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#220978 - 04/27/08 10:05 PM Re: Black out [Re: WalkingSouth]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Originally Posted By: walkingsouth
It does seem to be true that we often are our own worst critics.


So totally true. Many times we think we are fucking up our lives when what's really happening is that we are doing our best to cope, using social skills that were shattered and scrambled up when we were boys.

Sometimes I just can't believe the crazy thoughts I still get - like thinking "I'm glad Bruno is here" when the mailman shows up and shoves our mail through the letter slot. What helps me is to realize that three years ago that would have shamed and upset me bigtime, whereas now I just sigh, think "Gimme a break", and get on with my day. ;\)

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#220986 - 04/27/08 10:57 PM Re: Black out [Re: roadrunner]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1962
Larry,

You make a good point about surviving. I know for myself, and it does not negate personal responsibility for my actions and behaviors, but I really didn't have good information about the decisions I was making. In many ways I in an 'act and react' mode. Not really a lot of self-awareness as to what I was doing, but just trying to get through somehow it seems (but not even aware that that was what I was doing, trying to 'get through').

Although I did things that were not nice to other people, and also things that were not positive for my own well being, I don't think there is much I have done in my life that was of deliberate malicious intent to either others or myself. It was just that in the chaos of everything, and not knowing any positive and better alternatives, I behaved in ways that in retrospect make me feel shameful.

That said, I strive now to make the best choices I can. Sometimes there isn't an easy right or wrong or best answer to a situation. These things used to put me in a state of unresolved indecision, because I was looking for the 'absolute right or best' answers. But I have lightened up quite a bit in these regards and try not to get too caught up or stuck in the small details and just make a decision with the best judgment that I am able. And if I make mistakes (which of course I still do), I try to see what I can learn from them going forward.

By the way, thanks Simon for posting this thread.

Eric

p.s. I do want to add that on a more negative day I would probably see myself as a good for nothing failure who can't for the life of himself do anything right who is doomed to bad things because he does not deserve better. But I am working to challenge those thoughts when I find myself having such a day.


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